Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help with your concerns.
Was your ex-partner just kidding when he told you about hundreds of previous lovers on whom he cheated?
It seems that he wanted to control your past as well as your present and was concerned that you had a history just like everyone else, except for virgins.
It seems that he is very controlling and tries to use guilt to have power over you.
If his story his true, then he is a narcissist and his behavior is sociopathic. This behaviour is not about love but about control and manipulation.
I do not think that you can have a healthy relationship with this man and you are better off being an item from the past.
You are now re-examining events of the past with this man and having revelations of the true nature of your relationship. This is an awakening for you and soon you will realise that you are fortunate to have him out of your life.
Someone who can see you here and now for who you are, who respects and encourages you, who makes you feel good about yourself, is the type of partner that would suit you. This one uses all your history against you for the purpose of gaining control over you.
If these thoughts are overwhelming you (and I don't think they are), I recommend a great books that will help you, whoever you are or whatever your experiences:
If you would like to know more about manipulative narcissists, or would just like a great book to read and learn about a significant group of people in our world that like to run everything and control everyone (and often succeed), then here is another great book:
As for your current relationship, I would allow it to continue to slip into the past. You deserve so much better.
I shall keep you in my prayers for success.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC