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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5220
Experience:  Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology helping with relationships
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I ve been having a relationship with a younger co-worker for

Customer Question

I 've been having a relationship with a younger co-worker for the past 6 years and we have both been very happy. However he is a Sikh and I am a white divorcee with 2 children. Understandably I have never met his family as they presumably wouldn't approve. He has met my sister and friends but I have never met any of his friends from outside work. He's 32 and I turn 50 in April. Hence I've ended the relationship as I feel I may be stealing his best years and I also don't have that many opportunities left to me to find someone who could share my life completely. He's very uspet as he has always said how much he loves me, and I'm finding it difficult also. However I feel I should press on with the separation as, although I believe one finds true love only rarely, nevertheless I foresee an empty and lonely future for me when he eventually realises that I'm the wrong age and race and religion and situation for me to ever be a lifelong prospect. My question is: am I wrong? Should I just embrace love wherever I can find it or try to be more realistic about how life really is? The fact that I have never met any of his "home" associates prompted me to realise that, ultimately he was secretly ashamed of me. Many thanks for reading this
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 2 years ago.

Dr. Mark :

Hi! I'll be glad to help you with this issue.

Type a hello when you join the chat and we'll get started, okay?

Dr. Mark :

Hi, the system says you're now standing by, so type in a hello and we can get started, okay?

JACUSTOMER-pobdendu- :

hello

Dr. Mark :

Hi. I want to begin by saying

Dr. Mark :

how impressed I am with your thinking on this.

Dr. Mark :

There must be a lot of emotion involved as well, so I'm sure it's hard to think about breaking up after all this time.

Dr. Mark :

Am I correct in my impression that he's ethnically a Sikh? Not that he is an American who decided to adopt the Sikh religion?

Dr. Mark :

Thus his family are also ethnically Sikhs as well?

JACUSTOMER-pobdendu- :

yes - but is that your first answer please? find the one you aid you et! it just keeps showing my question and the disclaimer. Could you post your reply again please?

Dr. Mark :

I only so far have asked about his family, which you've answered. And my impression

Dr. Mark :

is that he hasn't felt comfortable to introduce you even to his friends, not only his family. Correct?

JACUSTOMER-pobdendu- :

Yes although he stopped wearing a turban at 18! Otherwise they all practise

Dr. Mark :

Yes, I understand. This happens often in "second generation" ethnic communities.

Dr. Mark :

However, the pattern applies here that also happens often:

Dr. Mark :

he keeps his "Americanized" love life separate from his "communal" life.

Dr. Mark :

And this is where I think you've identified that this is not going to ease up as he ages, but it will become more problematic, right?

JACUSTOMER-pobdendu- :

yes though he is English as am I sorry bt done NT tpe nour tproperly di at SD tmy aptop e

Dr. Mark :

I didn't catch the end of what you were saying, but he's English, I got.

Dr. Mark :

Are you having trouble typing?

Dr. Mark :

Should I type a longer answer that reflects my thoughts on this rather than more of a chat?

JACUSTOMER-pobdendu- :

It tkes too long to type via my phone so can ossibly ey muter? can mad our nweres bt tre's ohere m py he t v ough eep sding ite links

Dr. Mark :

Let me then give you my thoughts on this and I believe they will be helpful to you. And this way you can read without having to type back so often. It will take me a few moments to type, okay?

Dr. Mark :

Hi. Thank you for your positive rating in the other chat. If you could give this a rating as well, I'd be grateful as it helps with the rankings in the site. All the very best to you! Dr. Mark

Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 2 years ago.
Hi. Have you had a chance to consider my answer? Were my suggestions helpful? Or do we need to consider more options? Let me know,


Dr. Mark

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