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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I work with a female(A) who has had relations with 2

Customer Question

I work with a female(A) who has had sexual relations with 2 of the managers (both managers in relationships). This has caused tension with the whole team and today another female(B) employee was asked into the general managers office for an informal chat because she has made a comment to this female co worker(a) and one of the managers who had been intimate with the employee(A) heard it, therefore the other manager (who has also had sex with this employee(A) wanted to have an informal chat about the employee(B) who had made a comment about their behaviour towards the female who slept with both of them, Is this considered ethical or legal working practice? Employee B decline the offer and refused to discuss the matter as she felt that the manager who wanted to discuss the matter would not be impartial. Was employee B right to decline the informal chat because of the situation and it is against company policy for managers to sleep with employees
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear friend,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe that I can help with this question.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Are you asking on behalf of employee B? Is she concerned about her position since she declined to discuss this matter?

Customer:

Yes

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

She has gotten herself into a bit of a fix because she was passing stories that she could not possible substantiate and was not helping to alleviate the tension in the office.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

The manager in question, whatever his involvement, does not want to make this a public issue for his job is in jeopardy.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

By passing this story she is making him feel that she is putting him at risk and so naturally wants to talk with her.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

She may find that the best solution would be to go back to this manager and tell him that she thought about this and realised his great concern, and now would be willing to talk to him.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

She should tell him up front that she realises that it was wrong for her to have passed and gossip whether or not there was a basis for it. She should apologise to him and tell him that she will never do it again and not discuss this further with anyone.

Customer:

Employee b was not passing stories, one of the managers(a) admitted to her he had slept with this employee and he also stated that the other manager(b) did not know about it, employee b said to employee a that her behaviour was casing tension in the work place, the other manager (b) heard it and thought employee b was talking about him, it was manager (a) who wanted the informal chat because manager b had complained

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It is natural for people to discuss these "juicy" tidbits of gossip, but it can be hurtful to those who are discussed, and ultimately to the person who passes the stories.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

OK. I understand. In any case she should be honest in her reply and pledge to stay out of any of these stories/

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

People always get hurt and it best to steer clear of these stories.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Can she make amends?

Customer:

I understand it is natural for gossip but employee b did not want an informal chat because she did not think the chat would be impartial, the general manager who knows of the situation found the situation hilarious and employee b has been told she may face disciplinary procedures

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

She did not do anything terrible, but now she may be in trouble so she needs to try to smooth over the manager's ruffled feathers and try to handle it herself before it gets elevated. The manager may want to do this as well if he broke relationship rules.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Not talking to him makes her look as if she has something to hide, rather than as if she is afraid of his lack of impartiality.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Is she in danger of losing her job or just of getting scolded?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

The manager has the right to discuss matters that affect the proper functioning of the office interactions, and so this would be ethical.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

What is discussed in the privacy of their office cannot be brought up if each has a different version of what was said. It will not get much attention unless it was some kind of clear-cut harassment.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

She would do best to try to get past this in an amicable way and move on.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Making challenges and refusing to discuss issues doesn't look good and prolongs the problem. People don't like to be challenged especially if they have positions of authority.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Does this seem sensible to you?

Customer:

I am her supervisor and I do not know how to deal with this situation because the manager has had sexual relations and gives favourable treatment to employee a and employee b does not think it is fair that she receives a disciplinary from the manager who has had sex with the employee or that it is fair that the other manager has endorsed the complaint when the general (area manager)just laughed at it. Employee b is fearful for her position, the rest of the team have also voiced concerns with employees a behaviour and favourable treatment, what do I advise employee b and how do I respond to the manager when he asks me to "back him up"

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Thanks for clarifying your situation.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Can you successfully go over the manager's head? This is a case where the manager is the wrong-doer and is trying to cover up his misdeeds by disciplining an innocent employee and thus creating great disharmony in this section of the company.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It seems as this would be the best solution, rather than to throw this woman to the wolves to save him.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It depends on what risk it is to you.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

His superiors would not be happy with this situation, but he may be "untouchable" and can get away with this and a lot more.

Customer:

Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX a situation I have never come across and I will try to have a discussion with someone else in the company, I know it is considered a sackable offence for a manager to have sexual relations with employees, employee a made the complaint because

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

This manager is out of control and is hurting the company. His superiors should be concerned.

Customer:

Thank you

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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