Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I'm very sorry to know about this stressful situation.
could you answer my question please
Answering your question, I'll say that your anxiety is pushing you to become this overwhelmed out of fear about what could happen. But I do not think you did anything wrong, you were just being nice and supportive, and clear about your boundaries and fidelity to your husband.
You are not aware that this person liked you that much, you were just being friendly and empathetic, then please do not torment yourself about it, since that would only undermine your mental health and harmony in your marriage and life.
Have your suffered of anxiety before?
I think so I do tend to worry about a lot of things, but as I said I'm so worried he will say something to my husband although he said he wouldn't he would be stupid if he did as I have made it clear, and yes I had no idea he has always liked me I wish I had never opened my big stupid mouth
Situations like this do happen a lot and as long as clear and healthy boundaries well set there should not be any issue. As you said it would make no sense for him to talk to your husband about it. So, please, do not torment yourself because of what happened you did not do anything wrong, you acted in a mature and empathetic way and that's it.
Does it make sense?
yes but I'm still paranoid and worried, i wish i just hadn't said anything
how can people view this?
But it already happened, now you need to be proactive taking good care of yourself and to continue enjoying your marriage. If you still find yourself feeling overwhelmed by this situation, please consider individual counseling or psychotherapy for you to be able to process this stressful situation and do learn how to manage your anxiety, so you could effectively cope with this situation and with any other that may affect your mood or health related to anxiety. Counseling and psychotherapy are totally confidential, so you don't have to worry about any trust issues when talking about this situation.
Anxiety could create this and other tough situations and that's why it is important to learn how to reduce and manage it.
Do you have any further questions that I may help you with?
What if he says something my husband will go mad at me for even saying anything like that to him am I best to deny everything
Then, the best approach if you feel fearful about that is to tell your husband what happened, being totally honest and opened about it. That would be consistent with the respect, love and trust that you have to each other and end any further anxiety about it.
no that couldn't happen they have been friends for years and work together a big no no
Then you have to choose what you want to do or tell him in one hand or not to tell him and work on your anxiety problem, if necessary with counseling or psychotherapy support.
Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions and to follow up, since I am here willing to support you as possible. Thank you for your trust. Take gentle care and consistent action.
Bye. Take gentle care.