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JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 417
Experience:  25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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I promised my wife I would not discuss medical matters with

Customer Question

I promised my wife I would not discuss medical matters with anyone. Then my married daughter and I were talking about my wife's health generally and how we could help and I told my daughter of the medical condition, breaking a promise. How can I make it up with my wife who is very angry and upset? I love my wife unconditionally and fully. I want her to forgive and know of my love.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 2 years ago.
Welcome to JustAnswer! I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. Please note, this is not therapy, but information. I do hope I can help you though. I am sorry you are in this predicament. We have made such mistakes. After all, you were simply concerned for her well being. There is the fact too that you need an outlet for your feelings concernibg her illness. It sounds to me your wife is struggling with acceptance of her illness herself. I have no idea what her illness is and assume you are not wanting to share that information for obvious reasons. It is evident though that it is severe, based on her reaction. I understand your wanting to talk to somebody about it.

The fact is though, you went against her wishes and you definitely need to seek her forgiveness. That said, all you can do is, first, acknowledge the pain you have caused. No excuses or such. You have hurt your wife and went against her trust. You need to understand you have hurt her. two, Admit to her that you realize the pain you have caused. Don't justify it. Simply admit it. Third, accept the consequences. It will likely take a while, but I am assuming she will eventually corme around. Back away and give her the time and space she needs.

Let me quickly inform you what I believe is going in with her. When confronted with his kind of news we often go through several stages before we accept the diagnosis. The first step is Denial. It sounds like she is or has been in that stage. The second stage is Anger. No doubt she is dealing with that. The third step she is liable to go through is Bargaining. She acknowledges the sickness but seeks a second thief or fourth opinion. Basically she desperately bargains for her wellness. Then comes Depession. This is when she fully acknowledge ms the impact of the diagnosis . This is a difficult time, but must be confronted to reach the final and most important stage and that is acceptance.

I know you probably can't talk to her about this. It just may help for you to understand what she is going through. All you can do is first get through this forgiveness issue with her, then stay by her side. Dont try to fix her or try to totally understand her. Simply support her.

I wish you could both get counseling. It appears you would benefit greatly. I sm assuming she would resist this. What you could do for your own benefit is maybe find a support group on the Internet where you can vent your pain. You can also request me here any time.

I hope this makes sense to you. Let me know if you have any questions or If I have totally missed the boat on this. I do want to be a help.

Blessings...
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 417
Experience: 25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 2 years ago.
Thank you so much for your positive rating. I hope my words were a help. My prayers are with you and your wife, and daughter for that matter. If you need me for anything in the future, just request me. I will always do the best I can. Blessings...
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 2 years ago.
Hi! I appreciate you allowing me to help you maybe arrive at a solution the other day. I hope I was helpful. Let me know if I can help you in any other way.

John Michaels, MS, LPC
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 2 years ago.
Hi! I appreciate you allowing me to help you maybe arrive at a solution the other day. I hope I was helpful. Let me know if I can help you in any other way.

John Michaels, MS, LPC
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thanks but I don't need you anymore.

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