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Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question

TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3253
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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Hi, I have some questions about my crush, can I ask those

Resolved Question:

Hi,
I have some questions about my crush, can I ask those questions to relationship experts?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 3 years ago.

Coach Jen K. :

Hi and welcome. I'm a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

Coach Jen K. :

hi

Customer:

Hello

Coach Jen K. :

let me know what is going on

Coach Jen K. :

tell me about this crush

Customer:

cool. I tell you everything and try to explain you first and than you reply please.

Coach Jen K. :

ok

Customer:

I fall in love with someone. and unfortunately he has a girlfriend, but I'm not sure they're in good terms or not. the first time when I texts him, h was texts something and I replied with "ok baby" and he didn't like it. he reply me back - Excuse me lol, I'm not your baby, and than said, it's Ok, you can still text me, you meant well. continue..

Customer:

and than we stop texting with each other for a few month. last 3 month ago, I gift him a mobile phone and we start chatting again on online, but we don't talk often, and when we did, there was always casual talk, like - hey! how are you? how's family etc, nothing serious talk.

Coach Jen K. :

ok

Customer:

but suddenly 2 weeks ago, he texts me - hey how are you, Misses talking to you and thought I'd texts.

Customer:

and last week I texts him that I miss him terribly and he replied with "Awww Bless". I want to what he actually trying to say me?

Coach Jen K. :

I think that if he has a girlfirend this will not go well for you and he texts every now and then asI am sure he does like you but that might not be enough. It seems like when you stop texting then he reaches out....but as you know texting isnt a relationship and he has not made any attempt to seek out more with you.

Coach Jen K. :

I understand you feel strongly for him but these situations rarely end well for you being in the position of waiting for hie

Coach Jen K. :

*him

Coach Jen K. :

hard to turn off your feelings but I believe saving yourself some heart aches is a good goal right now

Customer:

I see

Customer:

what does awww bless really mean?

Coach Jen K. :

not easy for you but you also deserve more from a person..deserve all of them and not to be someone on the side

Coach Jen K. :

you can easily ask him if he is with his girlfriend and then you will know how to proceed best

Coach Jen K. :

if he says he does not have one then you can pursue but if he does I dont see a great outcome

Customer:

the problem is, when we talk, we always do casual talk and there is always short conservation, so it's difficult to ask him something like this. but i'll try to ask him, someday soon :)

Coach Jen K. :

that also indicates that it isnt anything more than these short check ins. care for yourself here...that is a good place for your focus..on you and being with someone whom can give you more

Customer:

so, when I texts him that I misses him, and he texts back with " Awww Bless", I want to know what he actually trying to say me?

Coach Jen K. :

that he thinks that it is sweet but more than that I do not know

Coach Jen K. :

he doesnt say that to you...he just acknowledges your kindness with kindness

Customer:

A while ago, he texts me, that he thinks he getting old, and needs to settle down, and tell me to pray for him. and he says, he's luck hasn't been good, he tested every way. than I said, you need to get married. than he said, I will Insha'Allah (God) in 2014

Coach Jen K. :

I dont see him reaching out to you...I hear general comments

Coach Jen K. :

I wish I could tell you differently but I am not hearing anything from his end that causes me to see a different outcome. If he had an interest he would reach out to you for more and more than texts

Customer:

than I ask him, do you like someone? and he said "there is someone", I'll see what happens. best person for my parents and myself, that's what the person should be. and than he said, I speak to her, told her about you also, she like sound of your family. and than I ask him, what did you tell her about me? and he replied, good things, how u r.

Customer:

, there's only good things to say. in the end, he says, who know's what happens, Allah (God) now's best. can you explain me what he trying to say?

Coach Jen K. :

I dont hear a man that is pursuing you...I hear a man that is confused. men, when interested go after and seek what they desire.

Coach Jen K. :

he does like you and enjoys you but I am not hearing anything that leads me to believe he desires more than what is there currently

Customer:

ok

Customer:

so you think he have feelings for me?

Coach Jen K. :

I know you desire more and I am sorry that I dont hear more from this. Your choice to wait around and see if he comes around and if you do I just want you to care for yourself while doing so

Coach Jen K. :

I think he has feelings of friendship

Customer:

Velentines day is approaching, do you think, if he don't, I should message him on that day, and if I should, what would be the best message?

Coach Jen K. :

If it were me, I would not be reaching out to someone whom has a girlfriend and hasnt reached out to me

Customer:

how can I ask him, about his girlfriend, please tell me nice way

Coach Jen K. :

I might text him and say...I enjoy you but dont want to keep intruding if you have a girlfriend. Please let me know your status.

Customer:

He met his girl friend before met me. and we're cousins but lived in different area and don't see often each other.

Customer:

aww ok

Coach Jen K. :

then you know he has a girlfriend.

Coach Jen K. :

it can be that simple of a text and then you will know one way or the other.

Customer:

should I ask him, he have any special plan for valentine's day?

Coach Jen K. :

I would only ask about the girlfriend right now

Customer:

ok

Customer:

I try to ask him and than let you know, what he said :)

Coach Jen K. :

sounds great. come to me any time. Take care of YOU first. please take a moment to click on the rating tab to offer a rating of my work. I thank you in advance.

Customer:

some of my friends says, he has feelings for you, otherwise he could have replied with simple thanks or Thank you>3. so, I'm really confused.

Customer:

will do.

Coach Jen K. :

stay with our plan and then you will have the information.

Customer:

alright. speak to you later than :)

Coach Jen K. :

ok. please take a moment to rate. I am not credited without a positive rating

Customer:

bye for now...take good care:)

Customer:

ok

Coach Jen K. :

and you!!!!

Customer:

no problem

TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3253
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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