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Ask Rafael M.T.Therapist Your Own Question
Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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Hi. I broke up 6 month ago. It was all getting complicated.

Resolved Question:

Hi. I broke up 6 month ago. It was all getting complicated. We decided not to communicate and since then not in touch. But i think we still think of each other and think he has not move on yet too. I can't stop thinking of him and it is painful. I tried with to date other guys but no success, can't get attracted to anybody else.

I really need to know if we ever will be together again??
Thank you. A
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 3 years ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am sorry to know about this frustrating and sad situation.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Could you please tell me for how long were you together, and which were the core issues that made your relationship so complicated to the point of ending it?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

It's obvious you still think about him and have not been able to move on after 6 months, but what makes you believe he thinks and feels the same if you have not had any communication since the relationship ended?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Have you been in touch with a close friend or relative of him, who has told you about his feelings and expectations about you? Have you had past break ups for this long, and you always got back together by him taking the initiative?

Customer:

No I haven't been in touch with any of his close friends and don't actually know them well. I still have him in my facebook friends and can feel that he is not happy. Some other little things makes me think he still wants to hear from me, like adding me here and there in other social networks, or liking my posts. Makes me think he wants remind about himself

Customer:

No i never got back after such a long break up. I would meet someone and move on but now it is not happening

Customer:

They main issue i think was my insecurity and him getting hot and cold and keeping distance sometimes

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

That makes sense for sure, otherwise he'd not keep connected that way either.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I understand. You said you do not want to take any initiatives, right?

Customer:

no, i don't

Customer:

i think this won't help if i initiate

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I think i't's been very long since you broke up, and it could take much longer and nothing assures you he will take that initiative either.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Then you'd just have to wait and hope he would give you another chance, but please do not stop your life while waiting since you do not want to afford that

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Also you need to be aware that for a possible relationship in the future, for it to work, the core issues that led to its end in the past would have to be resolved otherwise it would be the same

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

For relationships to develop and grow as truly healthy and mutually fulfilling experiences both partners need to feel comfortable and willing to be with each other, be open, honest and caring, otherwise it would not work.

Customer:

Would you suggest me not to expect to hear from him?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I would say that if he'd happen to be truly interested enough expecting you to get back together, he would not have waited 6 months without doing anyhing about it

Customer:

If he still think of me what could be the main reason he doesn't want to get back? no feelings left or he scared that it may not work again?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

So it would be wise to adjust your expectation to your reality, in that way you could hope for a chance in the future, but you would not get even more hurt if if does not happens as you want it

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If he hasn't tried to work on it for this long, I think he does not believe it could work between you

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

and obviously does not feel the strong need and longing to work on it

Customer:

Many thanks

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welcome. Please take good care of yourself, since this is your first need, right and responsibility

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

from there you would know how to develop healthy relationships without allowing anybody too use, abuse, neglect nor manipulate you.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions and to follow up, since I am here willing to support you as possible.


You can contact me using this direct link to my profile http://www.justanswer.com/relationship/expert-rafael-morales-toia/ , just make sure you state "For Rafael only" in your request, for other experts to know you want me to reply, and I will respond in less than an hour most of the time.


Thank you for your trust. Take gentle care and consistent action.

Customer:

just one more thing

Customer:

how can i make sure this doesn't happen to me again?

Customer:

a man being hot and cold and indecisive

Customer:

is it me or no the right person ?

Rafael M.T.Therapist and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you