How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3527
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
64783947
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
TherapistJen is online now

Hi Jen, I redrafted my letter, could you have a look?

Resolved Question:

Hi Jen,

I redrafted my letter, could you have a look?

Ian
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 3 years ago.

Coach Jen K. :

Hi Ian, Please send it along but I will not be able to respond to you for another hour and a half. Is that okay?

Customer:

ok thats no problem

Customer:

where shall i send it>

Customer:

?

Coach Jen K. :

you can try and paste it here..just make sure it doesnt get cut off and it all transfers...I have had issues before which is why I suggested the other forum the other night.

Customer:

ok i will do that and make sure it all went through

Coach Jen K. :

I will be back to you around 6:30pm EST.

Customer:

kk

Coach Jen K. :

perfect. see you then.

Coach Jen K. :

bye for now. come back to the chat around that time okay?

Customer:
Dear XXXXX,
I know this is really cheesy, but I have something I need to get off my (oversized) chest.


During my time recently in NY, it wasn't easy to do so due to circumstances, but I don't blame you for that. I had an amazing time with you (as always), and even though you had a lot going on, I still enjoyed every moment we spent together. Even if I may not have showed it at times, I truly did. Even being able to lie next to you in bed, fall asleep next to you and wait for you to wake up the next morning was something worth coming for.

(Next cheesy paragraph, ready?)

I have done a lot of thinking over the months since we called it a day on our relationship and it wasn't until the night I saw you before you left for NY, that I realised how much I really do still care about you. Now, I can no longer ignore those feelings.

There wasn't much I could do about things then, and there is still not a lot I can do about it now either. I still maintain that where you and I are concerned, the timing was off. When I realised that for the first time, was when I truly felt how much it actually mattered to me.

Each time I have seen you more recently has felt like the first time we met. I still see the same (highly) intelligent, interesting, funny, sweet and beautiful girl that I met that night, not to mention cute. I miss everything about you and our relationship. Even down to being outsmarted by you, being made fun of and our silly miscommunications we sometimes have. You are the best thing that happened to me in a long time, and even in differences, I cannot help but maintain the feelings I have for you.

As you know, I am not always the best at expressing my emotions and that is the only thing I regret not doing while we were together. I never meant to make you feel I was taking you for granted or that I didn't care where and when things were going wrong. I can admit that I made mistakes and would do anything to change them. With all that, I will say again how happy I am for you at how well you are doing.

Like you said while I was visiting, that you appreciate the little things. I do too. Just to be able to make you smile and share laughter with you is enough to make me happy.

Your positivity is radiant and I don't think I could have done what I have done in the time since we met if you hadn't been around me. Even without saying much, you have been a constant source of inspiration for me, someone I regard as an equal and a true friend. Last year was a big transition for me and I feel now that I have laid the foundations to build on for the rest of my life. Now I feel much more comfortable with where I am and far more settled. The only problem is that I feel something big is missing from the equation.

Anyway, however you receive this, I want you to know that I really do love you whatever the future brings. You truly deserve all the success and happiness coming to you and I would do anything to be a part of that. I don't know what will come from this, or where to go afterwards, but all I know is that I had to share it with you.

Words can only say so much, and please believe me when I tell you that I cannot simply justify here how I honestly feel.

Love,

Ian
Customer:
Dear XXXXX,

I know this is really cheesy, but I have something I need to get off my (oversized) chest.



During my time recently in NY, it wasn't easy to do so due to circumstances, but I don't blame you for that. I had an amazing time with you (as always), and even though you had a lot going on, I still enjoyed every moment we spent together. Even if I may not have showed it at times, I truly did. Even being able to lie next to you in bed, fall asleep next to you and wait for you to wake up the next morning was something worth coming for.


(Next cheesy paragraph, ready?)


I have done a lot of thinking over the months since we called it a day on our relationship and it wasn't until the night I saw you before you left for NY, that I realised how much I really do still care about you. Now, I can no longer ignore those feelings.


There wasn't much I could do about things then, and there is still not a lot I can do about it now either. I still maintain that where you and I are concerned, the timing was off. When I realised that for the first time, was when I truly felt how much it actually mattered to me.


Each time I have seen you more recently has felt like the first time we met. I still see the same (highly) intelligent, interesting, funny, sweet and beautiful girl that I met that night, not to mention cute. I miss everything about you and our relationship. Even down to being outsmarted by you, being made fun of and our silly miscommunications we sometimes have. You are the best thing that happened to me in a long time, and even in differences, I cannot help but maintain the feelings I have for you.


As you know, I am not always the best at expressing my emotions and that is the only thing I regret not doing while we were together. I never meant to make you feel I was taking you for granted or that I didn't care where and when things were going wrong. I can admit that I made mistakes and would do anything to change them. With all that, I will say again how happy I am for you at how well you are doing.


Like you said while I was visiting, that you appreciate the little things. I do too. Just to be able to make you smile and share laughter with you is enough to make me happy.


Your positivity is radiant and I don't think I could have done what I have done in the time since we met if you hadn't been around me. Even without saying much, you have been a constant source of inspiration for me, someone I regard as an equal and a true friend. Last year was a big transition for me and I feel now that I have laid the foundations to build on for the rest of my life. Now I feel much more comfortable with where I am and far more settled. The only problem is that I feel something big is missing from the equation.


Anyway, however you receive this, I want you to know that I really do love you whatever the future brings. You truly deserve all the success and happiness coming to you and I would do anything to be a part of that. I don't know what will come from this, or where to go afterwards, but all I know is that I had to share it with you.


Words can only say so much, and please believe me when I tell you that I cannot simply justify here how I honestly feel.


Love,


Ian
Coach Jen K. :

I am here Ian. Give me one moment to read the letter

Coach Jen K. :

how do you feel about it?

Customer:

hi i didn't realise you came back to chat!!

Coach Jen K. :

its okay.

Coach Jen K. :

how do you feel about it? I thnk it is terrific

Coach Jen K. :

think

Customer:

so how do i feel about it?

Customer:

i don't know

Coach Jen K. :

do you desire to send it to her?

Customer:

there is one part i'm not sure about - where i say that i have laid the foundations to build the rest of my life...

Customer:

because i don't want to give the impression i am thinking that far in advance, because i am not and its not my intention with this letter

Customer:

i do

Customer:

but still have doubts

Customer:

she is on sprink break next week

Coach Jen K. :

doubts about what?

Customer:

so if i send it then would be a good time for her to receive it

Customer:

i dont know

Customer:

just not sure whether to do it or not

Customer:

its not something i would do

Coach Jen K. :

I do suggest you being clear about what you desire before you send her anything then

Coach Jen K. :

that is why I suggested to sit with it for a bit and glad you have but it ay say you still need to sit with it

Customer:

and i worry that however she feels about me, she will see the letter as very extreme

Customer:

if you had asked me earlier today i would have unquestionably said i was ready to send it

Customer:

i just wanted to run it by you one more time

Customer:

is my desire unclear in the letter?

Coach Jen K. :

guessing wont help and we have spoken since we first began speaking about being open bt your feelings otherwise you just go round and round in circles

Customer:

i know

Coach Jen K. :

the letter shows me you love her but you havent asked her to be with you or to come back to london or you would come to ny. so not sure what you desire

Customer:

i feel like i am being as open in the letter about how i currently feel about her

Customer:

i don't feel i have the right to openly express a desire for her to come back to london or me to move to NY etc

Coach Jen K. :

yes and that is clear that you love her

Coach Jen K. :

ok I get that

Customer:

because that part is something i would prefer to figure out later

Customer:

i think more than anything i want her to know how i feel and see if it reciprocates then take it from there

Customer:

my biggest worry is no response

Coach Jen K. :

then that letter states that well

Coach Jen K. :

yes that is a possibility or her saying she loves you bt enjoys her life in nyc and that wont change

Coach Jen K. :

or she can say she loves you and wants to be with you

Customer:

i would rather leave it open ended so that we could discuss later how to move forward, if she feels the same way

Customer:

i know she finishes studying there in december

Customer:

but i also know she wants to stay on and make a life out there

Coach Jen K. :

yes I remember

Customer:

did i tell you about the marriage for visa joke?

Coach Jen K. :

yes you did

Customer:

when i questioned it to her she said it was semi serious

Customer:

and i really would not do that

Coach Jen K. :

I think if your desire is to share with her your love for her then the letter is perfect now you jst have to decide whether you want to send it.

Customer:

i do

Customer:

really i am just scared

Coach Jen K. :

and I support that

Customer:

i sent flowers that should arrive tomorrow

Coach Jen K. :

really nice

Coach Jen K. :

you are a gentleman

Customer:

to say thank you to her and her roommate for letting me stay

Customer:

maybe i think i want to gauge the reaction from the flowers too

Customer:

i messaged her yesterday and received a response today also

Customer:

so we are sort of back in touch

Customer:

it was just to get the ball rolling again

Coach Jen K. :

good. so trust you gut and see how it feels when she gets the flowers

Customer:

ok

Coach Jen K. :

and trust yourself

Customer:

i know it is getting tedious now, but what response do you think i will get from the letter?

Coach Jen K. :

I wish I had that crystal ball....

Customer:

me too

Customer:

haha

Customer:

i just remembered that phrase from our first chat

Coach Jen K. :

for many things...life would feel simpler...but if you think about it if we had a crystal ball then none of us would get out of the bed in thr morning. :-)

Customer:

but based on what you know that i have told you

Customer:

exactly

Coach Jen K. :

my gut?

Customer:

yes

Customer:

honestly

Coach Jen K. :

that she loves you and is happy with her life in nyc and doesnt see that changing

Coach Jen K. :

both things are true for her

Customer:

could you elaborate?

Customer:

sorry...

Coach Jen K. :

shes not ready to say she will come back to london when her studies are done

Customer:

im not expecting that

Customer:

im not expecting anything!

Customer:

but i have considered moving to ny in the past

Customer:

and maybe i actually would if i could make it viable

Coach Jen K. :

yes and that could be a possibility for both of you

Customer:

me moving to ny?

Coach Jen K. :

yes

Customer:

i am starting to consider it again

Customer:

i love london, but i feel i need a change of scenery at some point

Coach Jen K. :

i know because you love her and want to do what you can and I applaud that in you.

Customer:

but it all comes down to money and if i can make my business work there

Customer:

i dont want to come to a stand still if i move there

Coach Jen K. :

is your biz only related to the European markets?

Customer:

no

Customer:

its just that my company is still young and i think i would need the credibility and the finances to be able to take a calculated risk in moving somewhere else, whilst still making it work

Customer:

i own a production company that i started in may

Coach Jen K. :

I understand.

Customer:

and we are just getting our first tv credit now

Customer:

i am making my first tv show here

Coach Jen K. :

nice work. congratulations

Customer:

however, my partner and i have written over 25 different tv show formats

Customer:

that we hope to sell, whether or not we produce them

Customer:

so, effectively i need to have at least licensed the rights to a good number of tv channels or other production companies to make them, and gain that credibility that my ideas work

Customer:

if i maintain full ownership of the rights, then i can syndicate them internationally

Coach Jen K. :

that makes great sense

Coach Jen K. :

well I am interested in hearing how she responded to the flowers and to you letting me know when you have sent the letter

Customer:

i real risk would be to go to NY in the position i am in now and try and almost start over again with new contacts etc and a lot of networking and hustling

Coach Jen K. :

I know it will be hard for you but it truly sounds like the next logical step here

Customer:

i know

Customer:

IF i get the right response

Customer:

but should i take out that line?

Customer:

about laying down the foundations?

Coach Jen K. :

dont over think it...i think it is great how it is....no need to take that out

Coach Jen K. :

maybe its better you send it sooner rather than later now so you dont continue to ruminate over it all

Customer:

i just dont want her to think i am subtly proposing marriage...

Coach Jen K. :

I didnt read it that way

Customer:

or referrring to it at least

Customer:

ok

Customer:

you are right

Coach Jen K. :

didnt hit me that way

Customer:

i havent looked at it that much

Coach Jen K. :

ok good

Customer:

after the first draft i looked at it again the day after and added a few things then thought to send it back to you once i saw you online again

Customer:

maybe i will mail it monday

Coach Jen K. :

perfect plan. glad I got to see it again too

Customer:

but i will see what the flowers response is first

Customer:

yeah

Customer:

i will handwrite it

Coach Jen K. :

ok and I am here if you want to share it with me...her response

Customer:

hopefully she can read my handwriting...

Coach Jen K. :

to the flowers

Customer:

ok

Coach Jen K. :

lol

Customer:

i'll see what happens they should be there tomorrow morning, meaning i will find out sometime in the afternoon or evening...

Customer:

at least i hope i hear back from her

Coach Jen K. :

I am sure you will

Customer:

we'll see

Customer:

anyway i will leave you to it

Customer:

have a nice evening and maybe i will speak to you again before the weekend is over.

Customer:

thanks!

Customer:

thanks again i mean!

Coach Jen K. :

ok. I am around and look forward to a good response.

Coach Jen K. :

of course!!! always

Customer:

ok great

Customer:

bye

Coach Jen K. :

bye for now and thank you for rating once again.

Customer:

no problem

Customer:

!

TherapistJen and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you