How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Dear Debra Your Own Question
Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
57081136
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dear Debra is online now

Sorry Debra it got worst the system wouldnt let me add the

Customer Question

Sorry Debra it got worst the system wouldnt let me add the worst bit..
3/17/14 3:12 PM
Sorry it got worse please see below
3/17/14 3:13 PM
Jackie I appreciate that, but he won't get a proper dinner now. And it makes my day awkward. Any earlier and i may as well cancel the roast plans and that's not fair on Lorraine as she has brought the food now. Stick to 6 and I'll make sure I'm home. I assume he's done his homework? We need more formal timings next time so we can both make plans. 16 Mar 2014 09:28:16
Martin Contrary to the past which I can do nothing about. I do miss him and you very much. I enjoy the noise you made. I am not going to repeat the past but create a new future. Changes are being made and more are following 16 Mar 2014 09:28:23
Martin Then perhaps you could ask me rather than tell me. I am sorry but Lorraine's plans are nothing to do with me. 16 Mar 2014 09:31:31
Martin Why do keep Texting me why can't you call me 16 Mar 2014 09:33:09
Jackie I understand you miss him , so that's why we need to make it more formal so we both know where we are. You need to change if you want to, please don't do it for me as it's too late. I won't be coming home. I appreciate Lorraine's plans are nothing to do with you, but these were my plans. I can't talk to you at the moment because I have no wish to do so right now. 16 Mar 2014 09:37:02
Martin Please don't turn into something that you are not. You are lovely 16 Mar 2014 09:37:14
Jackie By the way he has his doodle, science and mood board homework to do. 16 Mar 2014 09:37:21
Martin Okay he has not mentioned that I will get him on it 16 Mar 2014 09:38:19
Jackie You're making me act like this. One moment your all very nice, then the spiteful bits keep popping up. I have no choice. I don't think for one moment you will ever lose thAt part of your personality, and that is what has driven me away. 16 Mar 2014 09:39:57
Martin I am changing because I have to. I didn't understand how things were. I would love you to return and will change for you 16 Mar 2014 09:40:27
Martin I am sorry but you are so wrong on this. 16 Mar 2014 09:41:43
Jackie No I can't do that. I cannot waste and other god knows how long and set myself back to square one again. You always end up being nasty or unreasonable when things don't go your way. I'm not treading on egg shells anymore and it's a relief. I will have to make a lot of changes but I will do it. 16 Mar 2014 09:44:19
Martin The spiteful bits will go, I am feeling better and feel that I am returning to the Martin 16 Mar 2014 09:44:29
Jackie Will go! No sign of that yet I'm afraid .I'm not taking that chance. 16 Mar 2014 09:45:55
Martin You can trust me I am not going to let you down. .I know that you have heard it all before but these past weeks have been an experience for me. I have taken so much from it. Learned from it., my values have changed dramatically. I said will because no one is perfect. But we can try. 16 Mar 2014 09:48:55
Martin Please can you tell when I have been nasty, spiteful. 16 Mar 2014 09:50:20
Martin You are really angry at me which I can understand but it is all about how i was now. Not about how I am now. 16 Mar 2014 09:52:01
Martin If you were to come back it would not be as before, neither of us liked the past it would be a fresh start. .nothing would be as before. 16 Mar 2014 09:54:17
Jackie I don't trust you not to let me down and I am not coming home I just can't - it's not my home anymore which upsets me. I need you to agree to sell it so I can get a new home. Living at mums is not realistic longer term. 16 Mar 2014 09:56:35
Martin You can trust me, you really can.. 16 Mar 2014 09:57:44
Jackie No. Please will you agree to sell up ? 16 Mar 2014 09:58:22
Martin No 16 Mar 2014 09:58:41
Martin I want you back, come home try for a month and then if you are still in the same mind then we can get something sorted. 16 Mar 2014 10:00:59
Jackie I can't go back 16 Mar 2014 10:02:24
Martin You can trust me if ever there was a time when you could now is the time 16 Mar 2014 10:03:44
Martin You can have your old room back 16 Mar 2014 10:04:49
Martin Have friends round 16 Mar 2014 10:05:13
Martin Have me time 16 Mar 2014 10:05:26
Martin Me and Jamie will be able to get together more 16 Mar 2014 10:05:55
Martin And you will see the Martin that you loved appear before your eyes 16 Mar 2014 10:06:42
Martin We were great together before and can be again. We make great parents. 16 Mar 2014 10:12:29
Jackie It's too late. That house isn't mine anymore and I would always be waiting for something to set you off. My nervousness would never go away and I am not living like that ever again. Please reconsider selling the house so I can move on. 16 Mar 2014 10:13:17
Martin Everything I said I mean you need to trust me again it would not be as before 16 Mar 2014 10:14:40
Jackie No 16 Mar 2014 10:15:04
Martin I am sorry but you are so wrong. .. 16 Mar 2014 10:16:10
Jackie It's too late Martin. I want to move on. 16 Mar 2014 10:17:03
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.

Dear XXXXX :

Thank you for your question. I still do not believe that she really wants to move on and I do agree with what you said about being great parents. I can tell you both are amazing with your child. You both think of your child first and make sure he comes first in everything.

Dear XXXXX :

One problem I see is she does not want to go back to how things were. The house makes her sad and she feels that once she moves back in you will go back to the person she wanted to leave.

Dear XXXXX :

She seems to be still seeing certain issues with you that she feels like you need to get your way and that she lived on egg shells. I feel that she often takes your caring as controlling and wanting to get your way.

Dear XXXXX :

What I see in your personality is a person that cares a lot for her and you are willing to do what is best.

Dear XXXXX :

You tell her things to do only because you care, but she takes your advice as controlling her life.

Dear XXXXX :

This is why you need to let her try to make decision on her own and let her feel in control of her life. Right now she still feels not in control.

Dear XXXXX :

The house is a bad reminder of her and I feel that you both should discuss moving into a new home to show her that you only want to be with her and if it takes making those changes to keep her you will.

Dear XXXXX :

This will show her that you are willing to do what ever it takes to change to be with her and have a great life together.

Dear XXXXX :

She still needs to see your commitment. She seems to be getting upset over the little things and seems to get reminded of how things were when you both were together. You need to explain yourself more in why you say and do the things you do. Help her understand that you are here for her.

Dear XXXXX :

She is just nervous to start again with you because she doesn't want things to go back to how they were so she is afraid to get back together. But I still feel their is a chance for this relationship.

Customer:

There isn't one.

The Gardner is round tomorrow so can you leave him£ 15 and leave the gate open please.

Can you confirm you have time off fur Jamie already booked so I dint have to worry about finding someone else to have him?

Can you confirm if you will be bringing him back on the Saturday morning so I know what I'm doing?

Thanks




Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 16:03:05 +0000
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks
From:[email protected]
To:[email protected]


I know it may seem strange but I think that this series of emails have been the most sensitive one's that I have received from you. Please don't despair I will try to get a solution for us.


Sent from Samsung Mobile





-------- Original message --------
From: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Date:
To: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks



Then we may re visit it a long long way down the line, but right now I need dpace and you are not willing to give that to me. I can only do that if I have my own place



Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 15:30:55 +0000
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks
From:[email protected]
To:[email protected]


Not at all, you're getting this all wrong I will never be the person I was before. I have grown up so much more since.


Sent from Samsung Mobile





-------- Original message --------
From: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Date:
To: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks



You can;t too much damage has been done and I need to be on my own to sort myself out. I will always be looking over my shoulders - so to speak



Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 15:18:27 +0000
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks
From:[email protected]
To:[email protected]


I meant every thing I said. I will make you happy


Sent from Samsung Mobile





-------- Original message --------
From: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Date:
To: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks



Sorry, I can't.



Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 15:14:57 +0000
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks
From:[email protected]
To:[email protected]


Please find it in you to forgive you have no idea how I am now


Sent from Samsung Mobile





-------- Original message --------
From: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Date:
To: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks



no sorry, I am done and I have warned you so many time this would happen and it has now.



Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 15:11:56 +0000
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks
From:[email protected]
To:[email protected]


I want the chance, and I will show you.


Sent from Samsung Mobile





-------- Original message --------
From: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Date:
To: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks



I can't becuase I know in my heart of hearts you will not change. I have come this far I can't go back. It's all too late



Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 15:06:14 +0000
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks
From:[email protected]
To:[email protected]


You should go with it. I do really really care so so much so. I would do anything for you. Just ask.


Sent from Samsung Mobile





-------- Original message --------
From: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Date:
To: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks




Every time I used to ask to to behave in a certain way when I asked to do something - go out, weekends with the girls you would over react - you never took notice of me then, and now you say you are a changed man but still are being nasty about Lorraine. You never changed back then adn you wont change now.

If you truly truly cared about my feeligns, you woudl have found a way to give me the space I needed. Over the last couple of weeks I have been so tempted to try again but each time I soften you have shown your true colours and it has shaken me back into reality that nothing would change and I need to go ahead with being on my own.

It is sad, but I need to be happy,a nd you don;t make me happy.




Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 14:52:18 +0000
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks
From:[email protected]
To:[email protected]


Let me know what you mean, what you think we could have done.


Sent from Samsung Mobile





-------- Original message --------
From: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Date:
To: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks




You know what it is all very sad, but this is the last option I have now.


Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 14:30:02 +0000
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks
From:[email protected]
To:[email protected]


Not if you take out all the moving costs and fees. It could take ages to sell.


Sent from Samsung Mobile





-------- Original message --------
From: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Date:
To: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks



That is way too low, so I guess we are going to have to put it on the market.



Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 13:53:13 +0000
Subject: Re: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks
From:[email protected]
To:[email protected]


Thank you the best that I can do with regards XXXXX XXXXX you out is 60k


Sent from Samsung Mobile





-------- Original message --------
From: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Date:
To: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]>
Subject: FW: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks







From:[email protected]
To:[email protected]
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks
Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 13:46:34 +0000




Hi there I have spoken to a legal advisor and without racking up legal costs for both of us, I need you to agree to sell the house or buy me out.



If you choose to buy me out, the outstanding mortgage is just below £160,000. We could get 3 valuations and go for the average worth and you pay me half of the equity.



Or - we sell it and split half.



If you won’t agree to sell it then the matter will have to go to court at expense to the both of us which I am sure we could both do without right now.




From next month I will only be paying half of the following bills:
































1st



Mortgage



1597.66



3rd



Phone02



14.99



17th



Phone02



27.72



18th



Pipes Ins



9.2



25th



Insurance



78.58




Which works out to £864, if you pay £1420 it will cover all of the house bills but no food or petrol or any other ad hoc bills.


























































































House Bills



1st



Mortgage



1597.66



2nd



Water



34



2nd



Poll Tax



188



3rd



Phone02



14.99



4th



sky



73.43



5th



will



5



10th



oven



7.99



10th



dish w



4.49



17th



Phone02



27.72



18th



Pipes Ins



9.2



25th



Gas



118



25th



Insurance



78.58



25th



Electricity



97



28th



Water



27

















Can you please let me know what you want to agree moving forward with the house because I need to find my own place to live very soon and t make it easier on all of us please make a decision soon.



Thanks



Jackie






From: Martin Hall [[email protected]]
Sent: 18 March 2014 12:58
To: XXXXX XXXXX
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks





phew cool..have a great time x





Regards,
Martin
Martin Hall
Desktop Services - Voice
E 03SW02K ? 25 The North Colonnade, Canary Wharf, London E14 5HS &(NNN) NNN-NNNN3866 Ê(NNN) NNN-NNNN3867 E- ) [email protected]







From: XXXXX, XXXXXe [[email protected]]
Sent: 18 March 2014 12:57
To: XXXXX XXXXX
Subject: RE: Do not worry about 27th, I have made other arrangements now. Thanks


You won’t it’s a private room booking





















Customer:

The email above is dynamite she is so angry at me, I really dont know whats what.. top is latest bottom is earliest

Dear XXXXX :

Everything she said had good parts to it. She was considering going back too you, but it seems the Lorraine situation triggered something where she felt you did not change. So you need to still prove that this relationship can work.

Dear XXXXX :

It is very clear she wants you and Lorraine to have an understanding relationship with one another. That is important too her, so you need to makes sure you tell her that you will work on this because it is important too you.

Dear XXXXX :

She is telling you exactly what is wrong in the relationship so these are the things you can fix because she has told you. You need to show her that this is going to work because you are going to give her that space she needed when you both were together. She needs control of her life and she is still fighting to get it.

Dear XXXXX :

You need to show her that you will give her that space when you are both together. Ask her to write down her wants and needs in the relationship and you both can work on fixing them together.

Customer:

Unfortunately her idea of giving her space is without me and she seems to be of the mind that the thing she needs is no relationship with me. I find it hard to talk to her it is a catch 22. if i mention anything then I am not giving her space but if I dont I feel that I have lost an opportunity.

Dear XXXXX :

I think her meaning of giving her space is her being to make her own decisions. I do not feel in anyway does she want you out of her life.

Dear XXXXX :

I think she is having trouble trying to figure out how to balance being in control of her life and being with you.

Dear XXXXX :

She needs to figure out how she feels she would be in control of her life and have that relationship with you. She is afraid that if she goes back she will go back to feeling like she is not in control.

Dear XXXXX :

It is important for her to know she can balance the relationship in the sense she will have control over her life and that you will give her the space she needs while being in a relationship.

Customer:

now that is the question eh!! how do I get that message across, I will apologies again but I have been so so clumsy in how I have been chatting with jacs that I have lost my way on matters like this. I really dont know how to do this or that, so do forgive me if I ask for it to be spelt out.

Customer:

This is the email trail in response to Jacs sending me a breakdown of household costs:


 


Martin: I think so, thank you much appreciated.


 


I already send 1700 over so don't think I have to amend anything just yet. Please let me know if that is different,


 


Jackie: I will keep an eye on it for you just to make sure it all looks OK


 


Martin: brilliant thxs.


 


Jackie: You’re getting a good deal out of this as I spend way more than you LOL


 


Martin: many thxs...we never knew did we how we each spent.. shame about that eh!!


 


Jackie:Of course I always spent more it’s in my genes!


 


Martin: I must have had some of those as well, I seem to have been at Tesco's endlessly,, lol


 


But yep it is in your genes, its one of your endearing qualities, your very generous.


 


Jackie: lol


 


Martin: psml


 


Jackie:Can I just confirm that you are def having Jamie 14th – 18th April? I can then sort out my leave for week 1.


 


Ta


 


Martin: yes definetely i will have him.


 


Jackie:Cool, will you be having him that weekend, or are you working? I don’t mind either way


 


Martin: not sure, would you mind if I get back to you. I am not being awkward..


 


Jackie: No that’s fine. It’s just it’s Toni’s 21st party on the Friday and If Jamie is coming home Saturday I won’t stay round Kim’s and wil be home for him


 


No problem either way


 


 


Martin: That sounds like too good a plan for me not to help out, by all means I will look after him. You go have a blast with Kim..


 


What ever happens we/I will cope..


 


Jackie:No, seriously it’s not a problem to be at Mum’s. I know you need to work.


 


Iv’e just topped up Jamie’s school dinner account with £50. He eats nothing but Pizza and calypso drinks! We need to start stuffing him with vegetables at home!


 


Martin: I am fine honest, he will be ok with me.


 


He's also being a bit more vocal on stuff as well.. bless him lol !!


 


I will try and feed him with good stuff he had the fajitas last night.


 


Jackie: Is he, like what? I have told him to tell me and you how he is feeling and not to worry about hurting our feelings as we both want him to be happy.


 


Martin: I have told him the same,


 


But the weekend was a classic example.


 


He arranged his own sleepover round Jamie Millers then came home for his shorts then stayed..


 


I really didn't have a chance to talk to him about the dinner or the change, I just went with your plan and he changed it. I told him when he came in that he was going with you at 11am then he decided that he didnt want to go..despite me telling him about it..


 


As ever Jake is getting on his nerves but me reckon thats normal.


 


Anything else I have told him that he needs to tell you if he has a problem, just like you.. I cant tell you otherwise he wont talk to me..I do support you and do not run you down.


 


Jackie: Snap, thanks.

Customer:

along with this are these



















































































































































































































































































MartinThat is why I am the best person to be with you. You really cannot begin to imagine how much I love you. How much I feel for you. I have been trying to get across to you for a while that I am not the problem16 Mar 2014 15:01:37
Martinbut the solution. .you have seen and been through so so much with out any help. I can see that now I am so conscious of that now. I would be the greatest person that you would meet. I have added to your problems in the past but no more. We need help with this I will support you through this.16 Mar 2014 15:02:19
MartinOur pasts need sorting out otherwise they stay and fester poisoning everything. I really feel like this is the case. I am so sure that now that I know about them I can get us to a better relationship. I have never been this adamant about something. I want so much to come and get you.16 Mar 2014 15:03:20
MartinI know you have heard this all before but I can do it. And as for Lorraine or anyone else not knowing my side of it I am happy to talk to her or them respectfully XXXXX XXXXX16 Mar 2014 15:07:35
MartinYou are worth moving mountains for. Xx16 Mar 2014 15:11:14
MartinThe kind of partner that you will have would only exist in your friends dreams.16 Mar 2014 15:20:15
MartinPlease don't respond straight away it may useful if your counsellor got to see it before you answered. Mine find that they help16 Mar 2014 16:52:49
MartinJamie doesn't have football till Thursday I hope he told you about it. I will pick him up from his nan's at 4 or 519 Mar 2014 14:47:25
jackieHe did tell me thanks. I am having my nails done tomorrow night so I will pick him up from yours after?19 Mar 2014 14:48:40
jackieIt will be about 8.3019 Mar 2014 14:49:20
MartinNo I will bring home afterwards that way you are not hanging around19 Mar 2014 14:50:14
MartinIt will be after 8-30 so as to give you time to get home19 Mar 2014 14:51:06
jackieYou will bring him at 8.:30?19 Mar 2014 14:51:14
MartinYes I will19 Mar 2014 14:51:33
jackieThanks will you give him a proper dinner too?19 Mar 2014 14:52:01
jackieThanks19 Mar 2014 14:52:25
MartinI will have a go at it as usual19 Mar 2014 14:52:29
jackieSome veg would be good? Pie mash and peas? The house smells nicer, I popped into get my post . Thank you19 Mar 2014 15:12:57
jackieOr fajitas! He'd love them19 Mar 2014 15:18:40
MartinI will do Mexican19 Mar 2014 15:30:32
MartinWas the house ok19 Mar 2014 15:30:46
MartinI am making a effort19 Mar 2014 15:31:18
jackieHe said great . Yes much nicer and thanks for fixing the floor. The Loos need a bit of elbow grease! You could teach Jamie too!19 Mar 2014 15:32:05
MartinI will have a look at them tonight when I get home19 Mar 2014 15:32:42
jackieLol19 Mar 2014 15:33:08
MartinWhat did you think of the Tv room19 Mar 2014 15:33:29
jackieJamie's football starts at. 5.30 tomorrow19 Mar 2014 15:33:42
jackieDidn't look in there!19 Mar 2014 15:33:51
MartinShame19 Mar 2014 15:34:38
MartinJamie was impressed19 Mar 2014 15:34:50
jackieI'llook another time19 Mar 2014 15:35:17
MartinOh great bet the cat will crap every where19 Mar 2014 15:46:37
jackieProbably19 Mar 2014 15:47:02
jackieIf you're ever out late I don't mind going round to feed Harry. I do worry about him. Aldo go u need me to order more tablets ?19 Mar 2014 19:10:40
MartinThank you, he won't starve he has 4 sachets. He has me well trained. Lol. Please could you I can collect them tomorrow if its possible19 Mar 2014 21:27:26
jackieIf I order tomorrow they won't be ready until after 2 on Friday19 Mar 2014 21:30:43
MartinNo problem I will collect them ASAP19 Mar 2014 21:32:00
MartinI have a leaving drink tomorrow night and work the Saturday. So will stay up in London until 4ish. Could you feed Harry please, if you would like to, you could stay I have cleaned the toilets and the bed sheets. If you want you could even do your washing.20 Mar 2014 14:47:30
jackieCheers! I will take you up on that my chest is playing up at the moment. The heating is so noisy at mums I have to turn it off at night and the condensation is silly in the morning. She needs new windows and a few more air bricks I recon!20 Mar 2014 15:07:17
MartinWould it be of help to you if I have Jamie tonight and get your mum to come here tomorrow. It's only a suggestion if it doesn't through things out of whack.20 Mar 2014 15:59:12
jackieNo don't worry Jamie meets a friend Joe up this end of the Island now. Too confusing for him lol20 Mar 2014 16:02:46
MartinNo problem20 Mar 2014 16:07:00
jackieThanks fur bringing him home. I'll pick Harry's tablet up tomorrow. Have a good night20 Mar 2014 20:49:12
MartinThank you. I wish you well and a good night. Xx20 Mar 2014 21:15:11
jackieTa20 Mar 2014 21:19:52
MartinHi ya, I have tidied up and put fresh linen on the main bed. Please leave the washing I have that to do on Sunday. Sunday is my sad day I do washing and ironing then. Hope you are comfortable and get a good sleep. X21 Mar 2014 10:52:38
jackieThanks appreciate that it will be nice to sleep in a bed with a double quilt! Do you know anything about the football match in Sunday? Jamie mentioned it this Morning!21 Mar 2014 10:54:44
MartinHe mentioned something but he wasn't sure of anything it was all very vague.21 Mar 2014 10:57:52
jackieSounds like Jamie!21 Mar 2014 11:20:41
MartinHmmm definitely21 Mar 2014 11:21:14
MartinAre you ok to do it, whatever it is.21 Mar 2014 11:21:39
MartinI am working but I could put a work around in place.21 Mar 2014 11:22:28
jackieDepends in the time! I'll let you know as soon as I know21 Mar 2014 11:23:28
MartinOk21 Mar 2014 11:23:53
Dear Debra and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question. That last conversation was a huge improvement. It seems like she is more realized and happier in this conversation. I think a lot of it is that you listened too her about the house and cleaning. That seemed to have made her day that you were making that effort. That is the direction you want to go with her. You want her to know that you are listening too her. I feel this is very important in the relationship that you are hearing what she is saying and you are following through. This lets her know that she has an opinion and that she is part of this relationship. I think she might of felt like she never had a voice in the relationship and now she feels that she does. You want to continue to listen and make the changes she is looking for I see a better relationship already evolving.