I would like to help you with your question.
I am sorry that you are having such a struggle in this relationship....and that you have had confidence issues.
I do think that the confidence issues did have a negative impact on your relationship as it sounds like you became frightened of being alone and became dependent and "clingy".
If you are willing to work on repairing your relationship with your boyfriend I suggest two strategies.
#1 Individual psychotherapy. The lack of confidence you had was very unhealthy for you...and for your relationship. You state that you are doing better..that's great! But it would be helpful for you to continue getting stronger and stronger so that you can live a healthy, productive, and happy life.
#2 Couple's therapy. It sounds like you and your boyfriend do love each other, but just can't figure out how to be in a relationship together. Going to couple's therapy will help you work through the problems and find ways to resolve differences between you.
Love is not something you can turn off and on like a water faucet. If you loved him last week, you love him today! So...please think carefully about how you feel. If you want to "save" the relationship, then it will take hard work and the help of a professional to resolve the issues.
I await your reply.
He has asked for some time and space. I would give him that.
I encourage you to write or text to say:
I will respect your request for time and space.
When you feel ready, could we please meet to talk.
If he is asking you to leave him alone, I imagine that he is feeling confused and wants to take some time to think about your relationship and what he wants out of life.
As I stated before, the two of you have been unable to stay together and unable to stay apart!!
Your seeing a professional to sort all of your feelings out is very important right now. After you are able to do some work to understand your feelings, you will be in a much better place to have a conversation with him about your futures. Right now things are just too jumbled and neither of you can sort things out.
I do think that once you get some time away from each other, are each able to do some hard thinking, that he will be willing to talk. Clearly he is not in a good place to do that right now. If you respect his wish to leave him alone...he will see that you are listening and are willing to do what is best for the relationship right now.
Does this make sense to you?
Can you leave him alone for awhile?
Yes...let's hope that he isn't seeing someone new...
And yes...3-6 months for sorting out and healing wounds makes good sense. And...yes...that time is nothing compared to a forever.
Give him some time...
I understand your statement about hope...and yes you don't want to be strung along believe that there might be something in the future when that isn't true.
That's why it's important for you to take care of yourself...to help the help you need to sort things out...and then see where you are in 3 months or so.
Even if he is dating someone new...that is no guarantee that it will work out or last.
What you can do is to take care of yourself so that no matter what happens you are strong and in charge of your life!
Just waiting to wait is not helpful.
Time does help wounds...but getting support and help is what really makes a difference!
Well...your response was correct...he does not know the future and he may be open to talking/seeing you in a few months.
I would take his "nothing" as him not having thought about that.
I encourage you to end contact with him, to get into therapy, and to work to heal and get emotionally strong. Then see where you are in a few months and if you feel that it's time to contact him again...or if you even want to. You may change your mind too!
Is there any last thing I can help you with?