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Dr. L
Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1168
Experience:  Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
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Is it right for a supermarket manager, who I have met, to get

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Is it right for a supermarket manager, who I have met, to get his work colleagues to test and judge me, just because when I sent him a letter to ask him out, he text me back with, I am in a long term relationship, then three days later sent me another text, to say he would meet for no strings fun. I replied back to him, (knowing I have been hurt before in the past, also not knowing him well enough), yes I will meet for fun, when and where, or shall we arrange it tomorrow, when I shop in store, (knowing full well I was not going in, after what he said in the last two texts). He then text me back again with Hi (his name) I live in ( town) yes you, would you like to see my photo x. Then another one came with you have a private photo waiting, of which I cannot download it's contents because I have a safeguard on my mobile. Since then he has been testing me, one day we had a conversation over the phone of which he said to me it was a woman's phone he used, and that he only text me the once, to say he was in a long term relationship. I do not think this was right, as I feel he is testing me, because of what I said, when I told him I would meet for fun. Every time I shop in the store where he works, he is getting his work colleagues, to do the testing in a sly way, so as I do not click on to what he is doing. I think he has also brought each Saturday I shop, his Mum and Dad in, because I go in the cafe, to have lunch, (I cannot be sure it is them, as I do not know them, but the cafe staff, who we speak to seem to give the game away a bit, when they took the food to them, as his Mum and Dad sit virtually near us, (my Mum comes to shop with me as well), I could see the cafe lady grinning. His Dad said to me the first time he spoke, we are spoilt for choice. The next time he said to me we meet again, bearing in mind his Mum has not spoken to me. Is this right what he is doing towards me, when he does not know me well enough. Before all this, he has been staring at me a lot, also one day approached my Mum and I, to say I have put this blue tie on especially for you two lovely ladies.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. L replied 3 years ago.

Dr. L :

Hello,

Dr. L :

I would like to help you with your question.

Dr. L :

It is important for you to trust your feelings here. There is definitely something strange here with his behavior. His saying that he is in a long-term relationship and then 3 days later wanting to meet you for fun suggests that his intentions are unclear and that he may not be trustworthy. Perhaps he is not in a long-term relationship and just told you that so he could take more time to decide if he wanted to date you.

Dr. L :

Maybe he has not dated much and was taken off guard by your request. And then he has been having others test and judge you so that he can build some confidence. If this is the case, then his approach (not telling the truth about his dating status and having others check you out) needs to be explained and he owes you an apology.

Dr. L :

On the other hand, if he is in a long-term relationship then this is not a man you will want to spend time with because there is no future here and you are likely to be hurt and used. His using colleagues and perhaps his parents to test and judge you is hurtful.

Dr. L :

His sending you photos is unsettling. Since you know who he is...you see him at the store routinely...there is no reason to send you private photos. There is a strong liklihood that these are sexual in nature.

Dr. L :

Since you shop at the store with your Mum, you have some protection from him acting inappropriately. I encourage you to cut off all text and phone conversation with him as it does not appear that his intentions are pure. Next time you are in the shop, tell him to not contact you again.

Dr. L :

With all the things you have stated in your post, it does not seem that this man is respectful or appropriate.

Dr. L :

Let me know your thoughts.

Dr. L :

Thank you.

Dr. L and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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