Thank you for your question.
The reason why people are who they are is molded by childhood. We only know what we are taught. If your partner was raised in an environment where all he knows is to name call, then he needs to learn that this only makes this worse.
You need to explain too him that boosting you up and saying positive things will inspire you to help get rid of how you are feeling. One thing I want you to really think about is when the panic attacks happened and what you feel started to cause them.
Panic attacks usually only last about 20 minutes.
They are very intense but there are ways of calming down to stop them a lot quicker.
People often think about positive memories some times even from childhood and some times people smell familiar smells that bring them to that calm place. Talking you said gets you nowhere and I feel it is because he just can not understand what you are going through. You have been through a lot and you have many reason why you are feelings sad and having anxiety. Some times people need to be shown because talking sometimes people just do not listen because they don't want to hear anything bad, they just block it out. You need to tell him how would he like it if you called him names. He needs to a walk in your shoes to truly understand what you are going through. People natural look at others and their are many reasons. People might think you have beautiful hair, a nice outfit on. They may wonder where you bought your close, what shampoo you use to make your hair so shiny. You want to think about the positive in why others are looking at you. You feel that they are staring only because you do not feel good about your appearance because you partner continues to put you down. You need to be confident and know that others look at others because they are curious about who they are as a person. If you smile at someone odds are they will smile back. People are just natural friendly.
People like to get to know people and they like to talk small talk in stores special supermarkets. People just natural socialize special if they are having a good day. People often want to share good news with everyone. It is very normal for people to look at others, you need to talk that as a compliment.
You want to start by feeling good about yourself and getting more confident. When you are confident no one can put you down. You want to understand that everyone is unique in their own way. You are a mom that is something to be so proud of, you work and you should be proud of your position in your job. You need to understand that you as a person have a lot to offer. One person can make such a difference in others life. You everyday are making a difference in your children's lives.
You think he can not change, but I think he can if he was shown how to change.
People raised a certain way do not know any better.
I want you to really think about his family background and how he was raised. Did his parents do the same thing he does too you. Also some times people have hidden anger some times over certain life issues or events that might of happened. I want you to think about if things were like this when you first got together and decided to live your life together or did it start at a certain time in your relationship. Some times their are hidden issue that never surfaced. People some times hide hurt feelings because they can not talk about them, but this leads to built up anger and negative commits because the issues were never solve so it become a relationship where the person resents the other person. This is why communication is key in a relationship. When it comes to relationship breaking up children are always effected because they do not understand why there parents are not together. But parents have done outstanding jobs on co-parenting. Where children seem to adjust well. I know it is a very hard decision to leave but some times you have to do what is best for you.
If you are constantly being put down it is hard to be happy and to set goals in your life. It makes you not even want to get up and try.
When people put pressure on others instead of motivating the person it works opposite and makes the person not want to try at all.
Ok, so he does try for a week. That is a good start. But he needs to continue to be successful at not putting you down. You need to explain too him that you are exhausted from trying this relationship. Explain that you feel like all the effort is you putting in the time and he is just putting you down. Everyone is different and works at their own pace. You want to explain that pushing you will make you not want to do it at all. But supporting you and building you up will make you happy.
I want you to think about your life without him for a minute.
This always help in making this decision.
I do feel that this relationship could start again and you both work things out.
But he would have to so a lot of changing his personality to help you get better.
He need to not control your actions meaning. You need to work at your own pace in getting better. People think some times that tough love is the answer to motivate someone but positive reinforcement is what is best. Building others up letting them know that all things are possible in life.
He is stubborn in his thinking.
He needs to really think about what it would be like if the roles were reversed and you were putting him down all the time. He would not like it and it would start to work on him making him unhappy. He just does not seem to realize the effects his words are causing. You need to ask him is all this worth losing you for good. He needs to make the steps to change or he is going to lose you and you need to make that very clear too him so he knows now is the time to change.
I really do think he can change but needs to in someway understand how you feel. He wants to act like nothing is wrong because he does not want to lose you and think there is problems in the relationship. So instead he chooses to ignore the issues hoping they just go away
I really think he can change because I feel he loves you and is trying to help you, but it is in the wrong way.
He needs to learn how to help you in the correct way and I feel he needs to be shown how to do that. Even if you explain you will help him and show him the things you do not like that he says.
I think that will help him understand what not to do.
You rated me poor service is their anyway I can help you to change your mind about my service.
I am here to assist you and help you until we can solve the problem.
I hope that I can change your mind about my assistance and I am here to help you if you have anymore questions.