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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3529
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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Ive been in a relationship for 2 years everything was going

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Ive been in a relationship for 2 years everything was going well, he has a drink problem which is getting better day by day. He is unemployed, lost his driving licence due to drink driving. He has been behaving very strange and is very off with me, every time i mention marriage he backs off but he says he wants to marry me. but his very quiet about our relationship infront of his family. im very stuck and dont know what do do as he says he has a drink problem and wants to get better before any commitment. My parents are asking why isnt he speaking to his parents about me and my parents have told me if he doesnt then break things off with him. i love him a lot but i dont know what to do anymore?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 3 years ago.
Hi and welcome. I'm a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

I can hear how you care for him and want marriage to be the next step but it is clear that he has some issues with drinking that he needs to work on before he can go to a deeper commitment with you. I know how hard that must be for you and hard to hear it from me too, but I want you to look at it as he needs to be at his healthiest to be in a marraige and he is just not there yet. He may not speak about your relationship with his parents as his parents might be supporting his recovery first and that is okay.

If you can handle waiting and supporting him while he gets things back in order and works on his recovery then I believe that is a great course of action. I fear that if you push him and he is not ready it could be bad for all. If you feel that you can't wait then you get to make that decision for yourself but I hear how you love him and I am sure his sobriety and health are important to you. Support him and love him and I truly hope his recovery continues and you can have the family with him that you desire.
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