Thank you for your question.
Being in services they move around quite a bit. When it comes to being in the services they have to be ready to pack up at any moment when called to a certain duty.
I feel that him being in a marriage where he never lived with the person is very normal for people in the services. Some times the wives are able to live on base or if they chose not to they do not have to, it is all up to wether they want that certain life style that goes along with the services life.
I feel that when you find the right person your always open to having that commitment.
Being in the services and always moving around it is very hard to have a relationship and be able to trust the person you feel in love with because they know they can not always be there.
I feel you both have a good start, it is clear that he wants to see you and is interested. I do believe that this could be a wonderful relationship. He knows your story and why your ex still calls and he accepts that.
It is very true what you said about your ex being a distraction when he calls or texts, but you just need to reassure your new relationship that you are fully focused on getting to know him. He just would want to know if you are in this relationship to stay.
You would have trust issues due to him being cheated on and that is why you need to reassure him that will never happened.
You no longer love your ex and you have moved on but your ex is still seems like he is hoping to get you back.
You want to be very clear with your ex that you have moved on and that you understand that he still loves you.
But he needs to know that you are no longer in love with him and you are seeing someone else.
When people separate people always believe there is a chance to reconcile because they are still in love with the person. They have regret of not changing things for them to stay in the relationship. They have hope that it is not too late, but it is too late and you have moved on.
You have been together for a long time. Your ex needs time to heal and understand that you have moved on.
But that will take time and right now he will continue to try to get you back.
But I would make very clear in your new relationship that you will not being going back to your ex. People often worry about that when people separate. There is always that fear that they will get back together.
It is important that he know that relationship is over.
I feel that when you fall in love it is very easy to make a commitment. People often have no control over their emotions when it comes to loving someone. You just never know, he could ask you to marry him once your divorce is finally.
I do feel he will commit because he has been married before. He could of course have concerns since he was cheated on before but I feel that he will make that commitment.
You also could bring the subject up as well. I would discuss marriage and see how he feels about remarrying again.
I am sure he also wants to know where you stand as well. He might think you might never marry again.
You want to talk about your wants and needs in a relationship. Talk about your goals and where you see your future. I am sure he has many questions he would like to ask you.
It will give you both a chance to get to know each other and understand what each other wants in a relationship.
If you have any more question I would be happy to help you. Thank you.