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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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Hi just before my boyfriend took off on Holiday he broke up

Resolved Question:

Hi just before my boyfriend took off on Holiday he broke up with me. We discussed our flat and agreed that I would keep it and he could stay until he found a place. Now I see he is having a 'hellova' good time on Holiday and after having some time to think, I'm not sure I want to keep the place anymore. I went and viewed another flat this morning and it is perfect. So I'm in a dilemma because I told him I would keep this flat but I'm now not sure I can deal with the after breakup 'crap' especially since it hasn't even been 2 days and already I'm seeing posts on FB. So my question is this, should I make a quickly on this new flat and get myself out of this situation or just hold steady and try to ignore the 'crap'.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 3 years ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about this painful, frustrating and distressful situation.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Based on your story I can say that the way and time your boyfriend chose to end the relationship were far from acceptable, since he did not allow you to work on processing it, nor taking good care of the multiple changes it was going to present. He took the easiest way for him, leaving to relax and have some fun while leaving you suffering there. This is why I believe you have the right and need to take good care of yourself, and if you have carefully assessed the pros and cons about moving, and you truly want to move, then I think you should do it, but it is also true that you made an agreement with him, so that you have to be responsible in the way you handle this situation.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You would have to let him know about your decision to leave, an dhow he could keep the flat if he wants, instead of looking for another place. You would just need to make sure things get clear with the tenancy office ir landlord, and he would need to do the same depending on the type of lease you have.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You do not have, need nor deserve to repress and suffer even more because of his decision. Then you should take good care of yourself, doing everything you consider necessary to heal and move on, just do it in ways you show responsibility, expecting he does the same.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Does it make sense?

Customer:

Yes it does and thank you. I will be responsible and leave the required two months rent prior to leaving and will discuss my leaving with the landlord. I will notify my ex and let him know of my decision. Then he can do what he wants with the flat. Thanks for your advice.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Sounds good. You're very welcome.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions and to follow up, since I am here willing to support you as possible.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You can contact me using this direct link to my profile http://www.justanswer.com/relationship/expert-rafael-morales-toia/, just make sure you state "For Rafael only" in your request, for other experts to know you want me to reply, and I will respond in less than an hour most of the time.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you for your trust. Take gentle care and consistent action.

Customer:

Thanks.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're welcome. Bye for now and please remember to rate support. Thanks.

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