I have tried to involve her, she just doesn't seem to want me. She is forever making plans with out me. I am not in her plans at all. This other woman is taking my place and Jacs is shown that she wants control of her life and time and that I might be allowed to some of it as a family thing but it is all a front. She wants as a servant. I feel that I am being used now. We were at a friends house and the man started to play being Mucho by saying that he should be able to go out when he wants and that his girlfriend should sort out the child care. This was like a red rag to a bull. She shouted that she should have time for her to go out and do her things and that he should look after his child. I felt that this was the main thing that Jacs has been carrying against me along with the
Baby blues but I can't get through to her that our circumstances were different then. And that money was a big problem then. I wasn't financially prepared for a child but I stood up and worked for them. I had to we were all in debt. I have no way of getting this across to her in a way that is understood. I feel that what ever it is I say is counteracted by this woman. I know that they are looking to go away on holiday and leave me at home looking after my son. I don't mind this, but Jacs has virtually told me that we have split up. So she could go off with someone else. I feel like I have lost this, she can't stand to be in the same room and that I can do nothing right. She has no respect for me. She is moving on from me and is limiting all her interactions with me to the minimum. I
I don't know how to deal with this. .
This is why you need to really get involved in her life and let her see that you are going to be there this time for her.
Let her know that you are not going anywhere and that she is going to see a new person. That you can be that person she fell in love with.
She is angry about the past and things that have happened. She just does not seem to be getting through it.
But I feel in time and you changing she will begin to see a new person.
She needs you in her life that is why she came back home.
She has said you split up but she is still not willing to let go.
You still have a chance to rekindle this relationship.
I am frightened to say anything to her, every topic has a issue. The house, her job, every thing. I am gagged and feel like a prisoner awaiting execution. She feels nothing for me now and can't wait to see me go.
I have really tried to get this to work, if I say anything I will surely start the separation ball rolling. I am trying to get her/my friends to chat to her. They all feel that she would be mad to leave me but thats them and jacs is jacs. I am sure that I am in the callendar as a split date. I feel that this is all being reinforced by her friend lorraine and that whatever ground I make she is eroding. I dont know what to do I do try and involve us but get no where. she is stonewalling my affections my attention and is distancing me. I don't know how to break this down. I really do need help on a collosal magnitude. I need somehow for her to realise that she is suffering from the menopause and that it is affecting her hormones and relationship judgement and that she is going through a mid life crisis
Friends can effect and influence friends.
She might be listening to what her friend says and is just not seeing things clearly.
Some times friends can be jealous of relationships because they want the person to themselves or if they are single they want their friend to be single as well.
You need to ignore what the friend is doing because if you say anything Jackie will just think you are trying to control that part of her life. It will back fire. She needs to see this friend as who she real is and learn that she might not be what is best for her.
You want to continue to be there in her life even though she is trying to push you out. You need to just be there and prove things will change.
You could buy her a book about menopause.
I feel like if she read about other women she would realize that she is going through the same things.
Women going through menopause need to know that they are not alone and other women experience the same thing. It does get better the more you understand it.
Your body goes through so many changes that it becomes confusing on what you want and need in life.
People change but it's not permanent. These emotions become more and more clear once women realize what is happening with their body and their emotions.
But she needs to research it or talk to her doctor about it so that she understands what she is going through.
I am really up against it, she will not accept any responsibility for the way she feels I am the the reason for her unhappiness. I am not seen in any favorable way. I doubt if she could find a nice thing to say about my time with her. She escapes to her room leaving me and my son. She seems impervious to anything I or my son says. He mentioned to her that she goes out a lot and that me and him really enjoy ourselves. And when she is at home she just watches tv in her room. He also mentioned that she didn't watch tv with us. All went by unnoticed. If that had been me I would be so upset. She is acting like there is nothing wrong, I really feel like I am just killing time waiting for her to send me away. .
All is lost here now, I am resigned to getting the estate agents around and the house is going to be sold, she has no interest in me and limits her contact to the minimum. I tried and tried but it was not enough. I dont know what to say to her, she wants her own life without me. she is doing more and more stuff without me and our son, She is content to carry on as she is with me in the background, I am actually going to be the one that pushes this now, I feel used and not discarded. She doesnt want a family life but a singles one, she is in menopause and going through a mid life crissis but is enjoying it, I am invisible to her. I have been going out more and she doesnt care. She wont talk to me over the phone and is unapproachable at home, I feel that every conversation will end in its over between us. I need to be strong now and follow it through and try and gain some respect back. She may never know/see the lengths that I have gone through to try and save our relationship and our family. I am not in the best place at the moment, I am watching her from a distance although in the house. Its unbearable for me so I am looking to try and buy her out of the house. If you know of a way of turning this around then I need to know it now all have failed.