Hi! I'll be glad to help you with this issue.
Type a hello when you join the chat and we'll get started, okay?
Because it really doesn't sound from what you've shared with me as if the problem is with you.
It sounds as if he's very selfish and self centered. Do you agree?
yes i do think he is the selfish one there, but it really upsets me that he turns it around on me
and I start thinking maybe I don't see things the way I should
Yes, that is very often how selfish people get what they want:
they make the other person feel like the selfish person deserves that you give him everything he wants
without him making hardly any effort,
isn't that what you are seeing here?
but sometimes i think if i were in a situation like him, how would I react
and I'm not sure
you know what I mean, as in
If i was about to be deported and my boyfriend wasn't helping me?
But, somehow, even from the little that you've shared about yourself,
I would be very, very surprised if you were demanding and so uncaring eve if you were in that situation. Isn't that true?
that's what i am thinking
I don't think being selfish is a matter of the situation you are in:
it looks like we've broken up but what he is unhappy about is that he was relying on me and i didn't help
not that he lost me
And I hope very, very much you won't fall for that kind of selfish "using" of you.
Because you realize it is not you he valued, but what you could provide HIM.
And it is not your responsibility to take care of his needs, it's his responsibility. Isn't that so?
What do you think?
It says you're typing so I'll wait for you.
he also told me something like, "i still respect you, hope it will remain so"
this is scary to be honest
i am quite lucky with guys like that
Yes. I agree with you.
It sounds as though you realize you need to go the other way and let him deal with his problems on his own, right?
it's pretty obvious
don't even know why I needed to ask this
just needed reassurance
You know, needing reassurance is not a bad thing.
It's usually a sign of a caring person who really doesn't want to hurt other people.
It's the opposite of being a selfish person.
So don't belittle yourself for needing to talk it out and realize that you need to move on and let him deal with his own problems.