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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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Has My Co Worker got crush on me?Within the last year I have

Customer Question

Has My Co Worker got crush on me?
Within the last year I have became very close to a guy at my work he is 10 years younger than me him 22. When he started I helped him a lot etc and he became good friends at work he had girlfriend and me boyfriend who I live with, I always thought good looking and nice lad. We have gone out on work events about 3-4 times and nothing has ever happened as he says either don't mix work with outside or am too old for him etched even though I never tried on would just say to me when drunk. The reasons why I think he likes me are as follows: He had always teased me at work and both other girls, always calls me BMA meaning best mate always, only brought me bday present, only gave me his mobile number,. Always wants to partner with me on stuff, always comes to be to lend him money or use my work card, only goes lunch with me from team not others, recently gets jealous when talk bout other men, when out on work do stares at me and looks annoyed when chatting to men, goes red when flirt, shows me his muscles ha tells me bout personal stuff problems etc, in general you kinda know he says am his best girl mate ever but then other times it's like he won't add me to facebook but does others says his gf who he always on and off with hates me texting why he rarely replies my guess is except mornings before work and fact he says sees me as friend only but said that when he was drunk then said want to get hotel with you, I am very confused and I need advice please as I feel I do like him as he is so nice and not cheating type but why act way he does only to me it's like he don't want anyone else being his real close mate at work and he sits with all women n girls his age but has like attached to me, others notice this n say he fancys me and always has but says me am perfect but my age bothers him bit, but more recently he got more attached as broke up with his gf n slept with few random girls n loved to tell me too which thought odd but Friday he so different to me n wanted me to meet his mates, n I did when took him home but he never tried on n I know he loves his on off gf a lot as always goes back to her but why like this with me if just sees me as friend?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 3 years ago.
Hello. Different people view friendship on different levels. He probably does view you as a good friend and nothing more. He may have a slight crush on you, he knows he could have you but is choosing not to go that route for whatever reason. He may also not want to have a relationship with someone he works with as those can be very complicated and turn out badly. The only thing you said which was negative was that he had a problem with your age. Perhaps he prefers younger girls.
For whatever reason, he has chosen not to pursue you and you have made it clear that he could have you.
I would back off from him. A lot. Try to have just a work relationship with him. If he is actually interested in you, let him show it. Back off and move on with your life as though you have no interest in him and see how he reacts. If he is upset and wants to do something about it, he will. If not, then you know how he really feels.
Try not to stress about him so much and see how he responds.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi I do feel though he does fancy me as way he is, like he does say he would not do anything with anyone at work even if likes them as problems will cause n I don't want too as got bf but you say as friends I think does fancy as when I say bout other men complimenting me he goes oh I told u ur top looks good n ur hair etc I had already to you that n laughs, n then starts talking to younger girl behind n like looks at me see if am watching... Also when I back off like u said as I have done he then gets upset n more flirty again n always likes to take mick out of me all time, he loves compliments N today said I looked like Demi Moore haha but wudnt tell no one else who looked like why I get confused?
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 3 years ago.
I don't think you need to look into every detail that he says or doesn't. I'm sure he doesn't. He is probably not aware of how you hang on every word of his. I would still back off of him completely and see if his actions change. If he is playing games with you, it really is not a nice thing to do, as he is playing and toying with your feelings knowing he has no intention of going further with you. If he keeps acting like this, I'd be mad if I were you ! I still think you need to start detaching yourself from him, not talk as much, spend as much time with him, etc.. see how his actions change. He knows he has you, so he is taking advantage.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Sorry but I feel he not being horrible he generally nice guy n wants to see my house n saud would go hospital with me for something if bf could not go, he is trying to get perm job at min why he wary I think, other opinion I got from guy thinks does like me but don't want to ruin friendship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 3 years ago.
I didn't say he was being horrible. I said that if he has been frustrating and confusing you as you stated, that that wasn't a nice thing to do. I can only go b the things you have said and you said he is sending these messages to you and that is not a very nice behaviour for someone. I don't feel my answer deserves a low rating just because you do not agree with my observations based on what you have stated. I don't understand what you are looking for in an answer if you already have it all figured out. My advice to you was to back off of him to see if he responds to it. That is how you tell how he feels about you. This is the truth. If you do not wish to follow my professional advice, then so be it. If you want to continue with the situation you have with him right now, then so be it. I'm not understanding why you asked a question if you already know the answer.
My advice is to do something different because what you are doing is not showing his feelings. Your question was,, does he have a crush on you. Well, you can find out by being blunt and honest with him and asking him straight out or back off of him. I'm not sure what else to tell you. I gave you a good and professional response, I do not feel I deserve to be penalized by a low rating.