Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am sorry to know about your sad and distressful situation.
Could you please clarify your question and provide more information about in order to better understand your situation?
Are you looking for "psychic" advice, for somebody to guess about your future?
I see. For how long were you dating and why she ended the relationship?
You only said that 4 weeks ago your girlfriend ended your relationship. Did you type anything more about it?
I see. Has she been stable with her medication and has has regular psychotherapy?
You men for the 4.5 you have been together you had no serious issues, that the relationship was good and then she suddenly ended it 4.5 ago without any good reason?
I see! I am sorry to know that this person suffers of these very serious chronic disorders. Alcoholism and bipolar disorders are by themselves tough mental disorders, and together make a person's life truly dysfunctional. Then she has not been working on her rehabilitation process but actively deepening her addiction, sabotaging her chances for any real improvement.
I believe you, since these are common issues behind bipolar disorder and addictions like this.
If she has been getting counseling on a weekly basis while abusing drugs for bipolar and actively deepening her alcoholism, it's obvious to me that she has ben damaging even more her mental and physical health when combining these drugs, and that cousneling has not helped bu enabled her self-destructive pattern.
That's very sad, since when a person is unable and unwilling to even respect herself, and work on her own rehabilitation, instead of self-harming that much, it is impossible for her to offer any consistent and significant healthy respect, affection, support and partnership to others.
That's very serious and concerning, since it shows how her emotional, sexual and romantic behaviors are also deeply undermined by these serious disorders and the life style she fueles.
Right, then very serious codependency, as another core addiction affecting her life, with several self-destructive behaviors.
I am sorry but it seems her situation would not deeply improve but get worse as long as she perpetuates this dysfunctional an destructive pattern.
, specially one with these serious disorders and dysfunctions, could be the worse approach, which would enable further neglect, abuse, manipulation and neglect, against herself and other people around her. Giving everything to anybody
I meant: : Giving everything to somebody, specially one with these serious disorders and dysfunctions, could be the worse approach, which would enable further neglect, abuse, manipulation and neglect, against herself and other people around her.
I see, that's very concerning, and I am afraid that she would continue hurting the lives of those around her, while continue self-sabotaging, deepening her destructiveness and disorders. She could easily have besides of bipolar disorder and alcoholism, personality disorders too, because of the severity and range of dysfunction you describe.
Yes, I think that unconditionally giving everything to a person with these serous problems and disorders, would be very counterproductive, causing muro harm, deepening and enabling worse dysfunctions.
I strongly suggest you to work on yourself around eradicating every codependency trait that may have been undermining your ability to take good care of yourself and to play a healthier role in this person's life.
That's very sad, but perfectly matches the dysfunctional and painful life she has built around herself.
I also suggest you to join a codependency support group, and if possible to consider individual counseling to work on yourself, on your own healing, and to eb able to effectively cope with this tough reality.
That's very concerning, that other disorder is overwhelming, and with the other conditions make her situation almost hopeless, unless she chooses to truly work on her rehabilitation process, with intensive treatment, including individual, family and group sessions, obviously inpatient treatment, followed by an aftercare program and intensive outpatient, plus a healthy support system and life style. This is not common to happen.
She should need to find a "dual-diagnosis" intensive impaient program to get all the necessary medical and psychological treatment she requires.
Then please do get individual counseling in order to work on taking good care of yourself and from there on how to effectively support her, if you feel that's what you want and can afford, being very aware of the obvious and significant limitations and issues you would continue to face in this situation, which include several chronic and severe disorders/addictions.
I truly hope she chooses to start working on her rehabilitation processes with all the necessary treatments, professional and personal support, committing to it, otherwise her reality would only get worse with time.
As I have explained before, I do not believe a person presenting all these serious disorders and issues could get any significantly better but would get worse, unless she chooses to work on her rehabilitation process, through intensive treatment involving different professionals and a healthy support system.
I truly hope you take good care f yourself, since you are the only person you can control and need and deserve to be and feel stable, happy and fulfilled.
Right, I do not believe that you perpetuating this intensive communication into present circumstances could help, but would only codependenty enable further dysfunction. I am afraid, sooner or later, she would try to push or manipulate you to perpetuate your attachment, what would obviously undermine her personal situation and your well-being even more.
She would only get any better if she starts doing the many things she needs to do around starting and committing to her rehabilitation process, otherwise she would get worse, and your role should be of not enabling or fueling her disorders and dysfunctions even more while taking good care of yourself.
Based on what you have described here, I do not see how you could better support her but by setting clear and consistent boundaries between you, stopping communication, focusing on your own healing process and allowing her to do the same is eh chooses to do that.
I do not know any disorder with that name, it could be that you mean a pervasive symptom/behavior, for example present in people with histrionic personality disorder in specific ways, and in different fashion in those with codependency, borderline, dependent personality disorder or others.
Many people who have a personality disorder, also have other comorbid personality disorders or present multiple traits of other personality disorders, which are understood to be pervasive and chronic mental hath disorders, which get much tougher because of her bipolar and dysmorphic disorder, plus other addictions as alcoholism. Thus is is a very sad, and complex situation,
You need to choose if what you want is to perpetuate and fuel this dysfunctional reality where both of you would get even worse, or to start taking good care of yourself, without interfering in her own process, and she is the only one with the power, right and responsibility to do that. if she chooses to do that, then perhaps if both want it and feel like that in the future, you could have a chance, otherwise it would not work but become more destructive.
The first approach means separated paths, no further communication. The second approach means anything but setting and keeping clear boundaries between you, and deepening your present reality.
No, without adequate and competent support, and intensive and long term treatment, I do not believe she would be like this, but would only get much worse with time.
Please focus on what depends on you with necessary support from a competent therapist.
Right, this reality where you are suffering even more. Please commit to your own healing process.
I need to leave now since have a session with one of my clients.
Thank you for your trust.
Please take gentle care and consistent action.
I am sorry to know that, but it makes sense, and I would never suggest anybody to use any drugs, for any problem lie that, even when I know many or most professionals would love to put and keep you on drugs as long as possible, since that's how they make money, get an easy symptomatic fixing, without having to do much about providing real support.
I truly hope you choose to take good care of yourself to be healthy and build a fulfilling reality.
Consistent individual and group psychotherapy, with competent professionals, followed by consistent work and actions in your daily life, for you to build this healthy and fulfilling reality.
Thank you again for your trust. Sorry that I cannot continue beyond the 70 minutes we have been in this chat, since have to meet this client.
Take gentle care.
You're very welcome.