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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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hi Ive been in a relationship for 3 years I met this guy while

Customer Question

hi I've been in a relationship for 3 years I met this guy while I was married but me and my husband got divorced soon after as we wasn't getting along. The guy I've been with for 3 years doesn't work, lost his driving license due to drink driving and drinks too much basically his become an alcoholic. While in a relationship with me his been chasing over women and has lied a bout loads of things but I've always forgave him and got on with things. Recently his been telling me he wants marriage with me but I found out that was another lie. His drinking is talking over everything his taken money off me and not paid me back. So the other day was the last straw he kept ignoring my calls behaving in a strange way with me so I changed my number after a huge argument he called my work phone the other day and keep saying how he wants to contact his other ex girlfriend this is driving me mad I feel so down and crap I keep seeing them both together when I think that I want to run back to him cos I can't stand another woman being near him. It hurts me a lot cos I feel so used I jus need some advice pls on what to do cos my family and friends are telling me to forget him for good but I jus can't focus on anything but him
Thanks
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 3 years ago.
Hello. I'm going to have to agree with your family and friends. A man who is doing all of these things to you, is certainly not interested in having a healthy relationship with you. 3 years is a long time and of course you can't forget him overnight, but you really do need to move on. Eventually, the thoughts of him will fade over time. You need to do your best to leave your past behind and focus on day to day activities.
Getting over a bad relationship is not easy and not quick. It certainly is not painless. You need to do your best to not contact him do not call, text, anything. He is using you and wants to be with whoever is convenient for him to be with.
There is no easy, quick fix way for me to tell you to flip the switch and be over him. It doesn't work that way. Unfortunately you are going to have to go through some level of pain while you work on your future. You should be angry for what he has done to you. Use the anger to help you heal and move forward with your life. You will have good days and bad days, and that's just the way it goes. Surround yourself with your friends and family who support you and they will help you do activities to try and keep your focus from him.