Hi, I'm Dr. Jackie
Are you there?
I'm wondering how you know about the girlfriend.
I'm also wondering about his motives. It sounds like his intentions at least partially, are selfish in terms of "fishing" to see if you have a boyfriend, have moved on, etc. I'm sure he does sincerely ***** ***** want you to be OK. But I do not see how it's appropriate for him to contact you after all this time, ESPECIALLY when he has a girlfriend.
Especially since you say you have not moved on, you are putting yourself at risk for more unhappiness and definitely UNHEALTHINESS by communicating with him.
You need to block his texts/his number. Do not worry about hurting his feelings. I do not read where you indicate what you are saying to him. But his texting you is HURTING you and causing you DISTRESS.
Yes. That is why as hard as it is, you need to block him. You need to take care of YOU. Do not worry about hurting his feelings--he has a girlfriend, for goodness sake. He evidently has moved on. So take care of YOU. Block him.
If you feel you need to be polite, send him a text saying you don't think it's a good idea to communicate any more and that you are blocking him. You can even wish him well. But you need to avoid the temptation of allowing him to daily text you. It hurts you!!!
I have been doing this long enough that I can say for sure that the longer you stay in the "what if" mode, you can NEVER fully recover; and in fact, it's kind of like an addict--you WILL RELAPSE!!!
The sooner you end it, the better. I know it's hard. And I know it's painful. But it will drag out even longer and cause even MORE PAIN AND EMOTIONAL DAMAGE if you don't block him now!
One day you will be healed so well that if you see him down the street, it may cause a twinge of pain, but it will be NOTHING compared to what you are feeling now. But you cannot even BEGIN to get onto that path of healing if you are still communicating with him.
Right. And you need to be proud of how far you have come. You don't want to throw it all away. You know how I alluded to it being a temptation to text him back? A lot of relationship scholars believe that relationships can be an addiction just like alcohol and tobacco and drugs. And every day just like the recovering alcoholic has to fight the urge to pick up a bottle, a "recovering relationship addict" has to fight the urge every day not to contact the ex that s/he is addicted to. I don't mean you are necessarily addicted to him. It may be the relationship or some aspect of the relationship that you may be addicted to.
Yes. So my advice is you need to block him for your own mental/emotional health. And you may need to limit your time with social media, if that is hurting you. Maybe it would only be for awhile, but if you find yourself checking out his web page or the pages of mutual friends who interact with him--that is unhealthy and should also be avoided.