Hi, 14 months ago my depressed partner of 20 years wleft me and our then 21 month old daughter. We were having difficulties at the times in our relationship and his behaviour towards me had bewn cold and neglectful for a while. I have since learned that a lot of his behaviour was characteristic of a man suffering from depression. He has been prescribed anti depressants for a number of years now. Throughout the separation In I would ask hin to come home and for us to work on our problems. And when I would ask this every couple of months or so he said that he needed to sort himself out, his head was in a mess and couldn't deal with the hassle of a relationship. During this time I continued to provide him with support and held the door open for his return. There were many occasions when I could see that he may be regretting his decision to leave. In April we had an argument and he said to me to think that I was talking to my cousin about coming back to you but making a proper go of it this time! I thought about it for a couple of weeks and thought yes...thats what I want too. Then mid may o went to see him regarding our daughter. And from nowhere seemingly to me he told me that he had started dating someone else. It was time that we both moved on. That he didn't know if ot would last with her and tgat ge genuinely believed he would regret his decision. I went through the usual grief phases of denial, anger and bargaining and think I may be entering the sad phase now. I found out that he had been seeing this woman for 5 months before he told me about her and she is someone who I had nevrr met or knew of before but subsequently have found out that he used to hang around with her and her friends, not coming home until the following day, lieing about where he had been and who with. I also found out that it was this womans pet dog that he brought into our family home around 6 months before he walked out. The relationship with her has been on and off (currently off). He has moved into his own flat and I helped him with a few bits and pieces to make the place comfortable. We were getting on great and I could see that he was looking at me in a different way. Like there cwas an attraction between us. He told me that he admitted he was confused and needed to think but later told me that he really enjoyed hanging out with me but as friends only. He still appears to be depressed to me and didn't take the time out to help himself. In fact for the year that he left me his life spiralled more and more out of control. This last week I have been seeking answers from him. He told me that he told me about his girlfriend because she was pestering him to do so. That he left it late to tell me because he didn't want to hurt me. That he believed he would regret his decision because he didn't know if he should be with her. He has also told me he is full of ll of regret but not about what. Thing is I still love him. I still want us to build a relationship as I feel I am better equipped to deal with his depression and I do think we can be happy. I don't know what to do. I don't know whether to carry on mourning and to find myself a good man. ..like he says I deserve. And I don't know if he is having regrets about the choices he has made. Throughout the separation he would say that he wasn't sure he wanted to come home that he needed more time to think. But there were a few times when we were trying to make it work but neither of us were equipped to know how to go about it so the making it work thing never got off the ground.