Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counsellor for Answers ASAP
Good evening, I will be doing my best to assist you with this situation.
First and foremost, you should never feel that you are being forced into a situation in which you feel unsafe.
This is clearly causing significant discomfort in your life and you have taken some incredible steps to create a life for yourself without him. It seems you feel that there are many elements working against you. This is not uncommon for individuals in abusive relationship.
However, as you stated, if you feel you are a prisoner, this is no way to try to live your life. You have taken steps to protect yourself such as through a court order. This is an excellent first step. However, just as you have remained firm with regards ***** ***** the home when you feel threatened, you must try to be firm and let the court case work itself threough
I understand that you have had to cancel this case, may I ask what drove you to this? You cite "for the sake of family and grandchildren" What do you mean by this?
my daughter was due to give birth in that month and for the sake of peace of the family , requests from my husband and the court date of hearing so that he could explain his behavior -answer to my reasons why i had left home was 6 months away
moreever i didnot have any where suitable to live with just few clothes
i had a rough time surviving he promised me that i could live in the second property
as long as i cancelled the case i still have his email in my inbox
as this property is in my name i donot to to be homeless again
This is not unusual in domestic violence situations. It can be scary, confusing and frustrating. If you are able, begin exploring options for being on your own. This could potentially include other family members, or potential social services. As you have learned, you will need to do this on your own, rather than relying on his promises. If he has not followed through on his end of the deal, it will be difficult for you to begin establishing your own independent life. There are several options here. I can see how frustrating it would be to feel as though you are forced into homelessness when you are the victim in the relationship. Another option would be to begin exploring ways to transfer the second property into your name, potentially in an exchange with your primary property (please consult a lawyer with regards ***** ***** potential options here)
As difficult as it may feel, you will need to remain as strong as you have been over the past year
Again, it is about not feeling trapped and beginning to establish an independent lifestyle for yourself. Respect for yourself is the priority, you should continue to make choices that serve this purpose
i have been strong but he tries war of words or loyalty towards him telling me he loves me i am unable to argue with him he wants me to children we are together
but he is never in the listenning mode always thinks he is right
i donot want to lbe dependent on him with him controlling everything
i just wanted security till i die
You have done so many things to show your strength. Unfortunately, individuals such as the man you are describing struggle to change their patterns. Depending on how safe you feel doing this, you may approach him with regards ***** ***** couples counseling in order to begin repairing the relationship you once had. You are completely correct with regards ***** ***** insight. Making you feel as though you rely completely on him is his way of showing you that you aren't "strong enough" You know that this is not the case however, you know you are strong
my children want to see me safe somewhere near where are living i want to spend some time with grandchildren before my health goes worse than what it is