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TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5808
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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My family have never treated my husband fairly. One of them

Resolved Question:

My family have never treated my husband fairly. One of them has said he has babyish handwriting. he writes differently to other people because he has dyslexia. If he has anopion about something they say he is being rude, but they don't tell him to his face. they tell me instead.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistMaryAnn replied 2 years ago.

Hello, I'd like to help you with your problem.

It sounds like your family is finding fault with your husband for some reason. If they have done this before with other people, then it may be attributed to personality issues. Sometimes families become dysfunctional, especially if the parents or other elders have personality issues, such as being narcissistic or abusive. They will pass these behaviors to their children by example, creating dysfunction in most of the family.

Another reason why your family might treat your husband poorly is because of something he did to hurt them. While getting back at him through criticizing him is immature, it may explain why they are acting that way towards him.

If you feel that your family is not willing to change their behavior, you can talk to your husband about it. Let him know that you are defending him. Also, give him a choice about dealing with your family. For example, if he chooses not to attend family functions, then support him. Consider staying with him or changing plans so you spend time with his family. Whatever it takes to make him feel better. And if your family questions why you won't spend time with them, make it clear that you would love to but they need to work on treating your husband better.

Also, consider seeing a counselor. Your family's interference in your marriage is crossing boundaries and not only hurts your husband, but hurts you and your marriage. If you feel that your family's behavior was bad enough to influence the break up of your marriage, then it is definitely worth trying to see if counseling can save it. The therapist can help you both find ways to cope with your family's dysfunctional behavior and make your marriage stronger. You can also consider having your family attend therapy with you or both of you. That way, the therapist can help get to the bottom of why your family is acting the way they are and how to help them change their behavior.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate

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