We have spoken and we are on different paths. His heart doesn't seem to be in the relationship. He has been divorced foe 10 years, but said he was an extension of her life, and was unhappy. He's into cycling and wants to spend most of his time doing that and said that's a priority eventhough I am important to him. But says he doesn't have strong feelings as much as I do, and is not sure about what he wants out of his life. But he like his life the way it is, he has more control now after the divorce. We spent a lot time together during xmas and I thought that would bring us closer, but he just pushes me away everytime. I seem to meeting the same men who can't give back and I give more, and compromise. I want to break away from this cycle and meet someone who can open their heart and will want to be with and be vulnerable and take risks. I am very exhausted from it all and not sure what to do. All my friends are settling down having children and i'm single again, turning 39 this year. It is heart-breaking, but I need to stop meeting men like this. Too painful, not sure what to do.
Thank you lovely words. I am not sure how to leave things now. We spoke long time on the phone yesterday. I have some things at his house to collect, but I really want to move on and put the past behind me. We went through a lot together as we split up and then got back together. He had counselling to help him decide if he wanted to have children, but he didn't sustain at it, but I think the real reason is that he afraid of any real commitment and intimacy which is what I want. I know he is quite damaged and needs help, but is afraid to get it and look at himself.
Thank you. I wanted to ask advice. I feel angry and now I can see things more clearly about the way he treated me. He is still in contact with his ex wife they are friends, they have know each other years. Been divorced . They had a difficult marriage.The point is she still has a hold him and its not allowing him to move forward. I'm feeling angry about the fact that he I know he still cares , he calls her the same affectionate name that he called me. I did confront him and he said he calls everyone that name. I just feel very angry.
Thank you so much. I am wondering if I should contact him and let him know about my anger or just deal with it myself. I just feel I was too nice when we split up and didn't tell him what I was really thinking or feeling. Not sure what would be best to do in this situation. I will have to see him at somepoint as I have a lot my stuff at the his place.
You are right, but I still have the urge to really tell him. It is very hard to just sit with your feelings. We did split up before which was much painful, but now I'm more angry at myself getting out sooner. I know he wont like what I tell him, but he will hear it, he doesn't know what he wants and is very much in denial about himself and can't see the wood from the trees! I am angry!!!