Good evening, I will be doing my best to assist you this evening
Customer: my fiancée and I have been together nearly 4 years we have a beautiful baby daughter together recently last few months since our daughters been born he always keep making sexual comments about other women and saying how hot they are and how he would have sex with them I was wondering why is it is it because he's not intrested or bothered withe anymore since our daughters been born or is it because he's got the earge of cheating on me. Many thanks amy please please please could you help me my confidence are slowly breaking with him,
I have a few questions first, when you discuss your concerns with him as you mentioned in the "already tried" how do you respond after he says he loves you and would disrespect you
Customer: I ask him why don't he respect me and he says because all women are the same? and I ask him in a calm way
What is your immediate reaction when he makes the sexual comments?
Customer: I respond as though he don't mean it he tells me he loves me all the time but I don't actually know of he does
Beyond these comments, how is the rest of your relationship?
Customer: I automatically think he's cheating on me because on some occausion he's said to me he's go out and kiss another women
You reference him as your fiancee, what kinds of conversations do you have about potentially getting married?
Customer: We was pretty good at first before our daughter was born and since she's been born he calls me names, swears at me, disrespects me, calls me fat and says we're over all the time it's gone pretty bad since our daughters been born
Customer: He's asked me to marry him and we've talked about a wedding but he hardly listens to me
Ok, thank you these. So let me make sure I understand you correctly. The two of you have been together sometime and have overall had a positive relationship. It seems that since your gave birth he has done a lot to make you feel unimportant and to get his point across that he is disinterested. This is not unusual who struggle to accept the new responsibilities of being a father. Typically this is rooted in their own insecurities regarding feelings of failure, basically, that they will be an awful father.
The first step will be to have an honest conversation about where your relationship is headed, and the role that trust plays in your future. You say that you are able to remain calm, even when he is upsetting you, so this will be an essential skill during these conversations. If history is any indication, he will react negatively. However, if you are able to remain calm and he senses that you are not attacking him, he will be more open to the conversation
Customer: Ok thank you so what does that mean does it mean he's gone off me since our daughters been born he says he hasn't but clearly he's changed since she's been born he don't listen to me or ask me how I feel on a generally day and he accuses me of sleeping with my yonger brother who's 14 :( I feel really sick to my stomach is he capable of cheating