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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5334
Experience:  Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology helping with relationships
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everyone its been exactly 1 month since me and my ex had

Customer Question

Hi everyone its been exactly 1 month since me and my ex had a fight the problem was he won't commit to a relationship because he has too much going on in his life etc works own business so hardly free time however the fight was over me not agreeing to be friends with benefits as I wanted more then when I got jelaus and anxious he said its all in my head that I was his first love and a guy called James was his first as he was first guy he got with but however this sounds more like was just saying that to put less strain on him because he did tell me I was his first love and when I got suspicious of him he wound me up saying I'm not going to lie I have been bringing other guys round but again I think this was a diliberate act of winding me up and when he could see I was getting upset he said he doesn't do jelausey got too much going on in his life so since jan19 to feb14 was silent but on valantines day he had viewed my profile but didn't send message however when we broke up a year and a half ago had a bad breakup said things we didn't mean to he joined a dating website around the same year we split which makes me think he did that to take his mind of me for a wile think thats everything I need to know be so grateful if can help me I suffer from autism and anxiety so please make the text clear thank you
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 2 years ago.
Hi. It's nice to hear from you again. I'm sorry that he hasn't contacted you as of yet. I know from our previous question/answer that you want him to very, very much.

Unfortunately, that he viewed your profile is not a sign of intent to act. Rather, it is a sign of curiosity. So, all we have to go on at this time is that he is curious to see what your profile looks like now. This is a common curiosity, to see if someone the person knows has changed their profile. It doesn't mean, though, a desire to follow up or an abiding interest.

So, you are back to having to decide again if you are prepared to keep waiting for him or if you want to move on with your life and pursue other relationships.

I want to make sure it's clear, though, that you don't have to choose either or. You don't have to decide either to wait for him OR to give up on him and move on to seek other relationships.

You need to think of yourself first. That means you can move on to other relationships and if he does get in touch with you in a meaningful way before you form a new relationship, then that's great. And if he misses the boat and you've already formed a new meaningful relationship before he gets in touch with you, that's also great because it means you've found a new person to love.

That's what I mean that it doesn't have to be either or. It's been long enough now that you should explore other relationships and seek them out and if he does contact you first, as I said, that would be great. And if not, then you won't have been waiting in vain for him.

Okay, I wish you the very best!


My goal is for you to feel like you've gotten Great Service from me. If the answer has been helpful, please remember to give a rating of 5 (Great Service) or 4 (Informative and helpful), or even 3 (Got the job done) button so that I am credited for the answer. Bonuses are always appreciated! If we need to continue the discussion for that to happen, then please feel free to reply and we'll continue working on this. If I can be of further help with any issue now or in the future, just put "For Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, ***** *****

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

It is difficult to deal with but I Think he just saying these things because he scared of commiting he probably was upset as well after we had the fight he could also be scared I won't respond after what happen

Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 2 years ago.
Yes, there is a good chance you are correct. If you believe that he will accept that you do not want to be friends with benefits, then maybe it is time for you to take the first step and to contact him.

You could say that you saw he had viewed your profile and you wonder how he is doing and what he is thinking about the two of you. That would help you get the information you are seeking to get.

I wish you the very best!


My goal is for you to feel like you've gotten Great Service from me. If the answer has been helpful, please remember to give a rating of 5 (Great Service) or 4 (Informative and helpful), or even 3 (Got the job done) button so that I am credited for the answer. Bonuses are always appreciated! If we need to continue the discussion for that to happen, then please feel free to reply and we'll continue working on this. If I can be of further help with any issue now or in the future, just put "For Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, ***** *****

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Ok thank you for responding

Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 2 years ago.
You are most welcome. You know, you are seeking to have clarity and to know what his intentions are. And asking him reaching out to him as I wrote above would be the best way to find this out.

I wish you the very best!


My goal is for you to feel like you've gotten Great Service from me. If the answer has been helpful, please remember to give a rating of 5 (Great Service) or 4 (Informative and helpful), or even 3 (Got the job done) button so that I am credited for the answer. Bonuses are always appreciated! If we need to continue the discussion for that to happen, then please feel free to reply and we'll continue working on this. If I can be of further help with any issue now or in the future, just put "For Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, ***** *****

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

My autistic care worker thinks he just saying these things because scared of commitment and thanks again

Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 2 years ago.
You are so welcome and I would be most grateful if you could give a positive rating before leaving. All the best to you,

Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Had a response from him today saying he can't give me what he want but seemed angry is that a sign he does care or is it really over if he looks at my profile he must still care just need some help on why he can't give me what I want if he working all time

Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 2 years ago.
Hi,

I wish there was a definitive iterpretation of his statement that is available, but there is not. You are right: it could mean the one way or it could mean the other way.

So you may again be at a juncture where you have to ask him to be clear about what he means because there is no way to tell from his language he used.

All the best,
Dr. Mark