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Ask DrJackiePhD Your Own Question

DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 347
Experience:  I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.
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How can I get over my self-hatred and intense dislike of my

Customer Question

How can I get over my self-hatred and intense dislike of my appearance?
This is me: http://imgur.com/ow68MRS
I can't stand to look at myself since my gf left me for this guy:
http://imgur.com/wF6JLQb,0opXNaG,YqgqQMR#0
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  DrJackiePhD replied 1 year ago.
Customer:

Hi, I'm Dr. Jackie, a communication specialist and relationship expert. I think we may have chatted before. Would you like to chat now?

Customer:

I do understand your self-image; that is, I have met with and talked with both men and women who look at themselves in a mirror and see something completely different from what everyone else sees. I do know that the image is real. Maybe I can make some suggestions that will help you change the image you see and/or change how you feel!

Customer:

Please do let me know if you would like to talk.

Customer:

I'm still here...

Customer:

While you are still "standing by," I'd like to write out a few questions here that you should get whenever you come back into chat.

Customer:

First, did you hate your appearance before the break-up with your girlfriend? From what you wrote, you seem to believe that your girlfriend left you for the other fellow because (or at least partly because) of looks--because she might think the other guy is more handsome. Is this accurate?

Customer:

Second, do you really believe that your ex-girlfriend left you for this reason?

Customer:

Third, if you do believe this, how are you certain? Did she say this or allude to this? Or is this a guess because you don't think there are any other reasons?

Customer:

I'd like to respond farther but would love your input and answers to these above questions so that I can get a better picture of what happened in order to better try to help! :-)

Customer:

I'll be on for awhile if you can back into chat! Take good care, Dr. Jackie

JACUSTOMER-29g2cvk7- :

Hi Dr Jackie

JACUSTOMER-29g2cvk7- :

I can't say whether what I see is different to what others see

JACUSTOMER-29g2cvk7- :

But I look around in crowds and feel decidedly awful in comparison to nigh-on anyone my own age

JACUSTOMER-29g2cvk7- :

In response to your questions, no I started to feel comfortable with my appearance when exposed to the constant praise from my gf. Now I wonder whether she was just looking through loving eyes/trying to convince herself

JACUSTOMER-29g2cvk7- :

I do believe that she may think this other guy is more handsome and wonder whether this was an aspect of her decision to leave

JACUSTOMER-29g2cvk7- :

Or rather, I wonder whether she thought me good-looking enough to stay with until he/someone better looking came along

JACUSTOMER-29g2cvk7- :

And now looks back on it from the viewpoint of: "well I'm with someone better now"

Customer:

Hi, I just read this. I have several appointments and a meeting until about 8 p.m. East Coast Time (it's not quite 4 here and my first in that string starts at 4). I know we are 6 or 7 hours different in time zones. Will you be able to chat any time between 8 and 10 p.m. EDT? If not, do you want me to opt out and see if someone else can answer you sooner than that? Or if tonight my time does not work, do you have any time tomorrow?

JACUSTOMER-29g2cvk7- :

I shall be free at a similiar time tomorrow?

Customer:

OK I am in another appointment but I saw you responded and just wanted to say that that works and I look forward to being online around 3:00 pm EDT. Thank you! Please take care!

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