Hi! I'll be glad to help you with this issue.
I can imagine how frustrating this situation must be for you. You are making all the right moves; they should be working. But they're not. And you're at a loss for why he is not responding. It is indeed very hurtful. We therefore have to address openly the possibilities as to why he might be behaving in this manner; most of them, from my experience, would have to do with him and not with you.
And this is actually the key to my answer to you that you need to consider and think about. The "elephant in the room" perhaps is that there is a 22+ year difference between you two. It is very flattering, perhaps, for him to have your attention. But he may very well be feeling awkward knowing that when you are 55 years old and still relatively young, he will be 77. That is a whole different part of life each of you would be in. Now, you may retort that you're not thinking that far down the road. But you mentioned that he was hurt when married, so he may be someone who thinks in long-term ways.
This, though, is just the first, one of a number of possibilities of why he may be standoffish at this point. That first reason is very sweet, but it may be a true calculation on his part. There's another reason as well: he may have some dysfunction sexually that he is embarrassed about. I know that this sounds far-fetched but it is not. Many men who take it only so far have something, whether real or imagined, that makes them feel unable to go farther. He is at an age where that becomes more of a possibility.
And there are other possibilities as well; you've thought of his past hurt and that he may be retreating. That is indeed possible. So you see, there are a number of reasons; we don't know why; but we do know that more than likely, it is not because of you.
You can only move forward if you find out more information. You are feeling unhappy and unsettled because you are trying to get clarity without information. It's not possible to do so. We now come to the tough part: you have to take a deep breath and plunge into an honest discussion:
You don't want to come off as desperate; I understand. However, you don't need to feel that way. A text or letter stating that you are a bit confused by his actions, or rather lack of action, is appropriate. Restating your having had an enjoyable time and wanting to see more of him is also appropriate. Asking him if there is something preventing this from happening either because of you or because of himself is also appropriate.
Again, I wish there as a way to do this in an easier way requiring less bravery. There just hasn't been a way created since the dawn of uncertainty. The other way just drags things on and on. So, there it is. That is the best and most open honest answer I can give you. You deserve it and I wish you the very best!
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