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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3242
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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Can I ask what would be the psychological motivation for

Resolved Question:

Can I ask what would be the psychological motivation for someone doing this.



  • A man has been friends with you on Facebook for 6 months.

  • He is pursuing you a lot / asking you out

  • You have a first date finally -The date goes great. He kisses you as soon as he sees you and he is smiling at you with his eyes and stroking your hair, he's constantly affectionate, cuddling you, says he is so happy he finally got to date you, he's holding hands with you.

  • He gets home that night and he sends a message to say he loved the date and can you go again. You book a date for 3 days later.

  • The next morning he sends a message to say he woke up thinking about you and can't wait to see you, and he's so happy etc.

  • He messages you throughout the day with the same thing.

  • The next day you go away on a trip and he goes out with his friends that night

  • You get a message from him at 1am to say he has left Facebook. That's all the message says.

  • You check and find out he's lying and he's just blocked you.

  • You confront him directly and ask why he blocked you and he's indignant and denies it, and he says you are being childish

  • He still wants to have your date and talks to you just as much

  • Because he's lying to you, you cancel the date and presume he is hiding something


I have spent a while now very confused by this because we had grown close and he seemed to like me so much and spend so much time on me, but I figured the most likely explanation was that something happened that night he wanted to hide from me, or there was another woman.

Yesterday though, a mutual friend was here, and due to my curiosity he let me view the hidden Facebook page. He's made no posts at all and been tagged in nothing since the night he blocked me and so I am just SO confused about why he did it and lied. Why on earth would he block me from nothing after such a great date when he clearly wants to see me again?

It's not because he wanted to dump me, he's still asking me out. It's not because he was hiding something, I have seen it and there's nothing TO hide.

Any suggestions?

I really liked this man a lot and feel so insulted and confused. If it helps to add some background, he is very impulsive, very jealous, very prideful and stubborn and he's been hurt badly in the past by someone cheating. He's admitted to pushing people away when they get close, and I know the night he did it I was out to dinner with another guy who was just a friend. I am not sure if jealousy motivated this or it's some sort of test of head game.

I just want to move on with a sense of understanding because I feel so confused about the mixed up behavior and it's made me feel scared to date anyone else.

This man still wants to see me, but I've cut off contact because he hasn't been honest and this has made me paranoid and upset.

It just makes no sense!

Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 2 years ago.
Hi and welcome. I'm a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

It sounds to me like he has trouble connecting deeply with people and that he may come on strong and really like you, but then when it is time to really go deeper he cannot. Facebook gives a transparency to everyone's lives and maybe he bloked you not because he has something to hide, but ore about that he is just not ready for you to see all aspects of his life. If you step back from that then maybe you can understand it. sometimes FB gives too much information and he just may not want it. He may be dating others too...not a crime, you didn't say you were fully committed to one another. So maybe he just wants it t be private and the only way he knew how to do it was by telling you he left fb.
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3242
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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