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Ask Dr. Norman Brown Your Own Question
Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown, Marriage Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1200
Experience:  Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
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I am seeing someone who has been in my past but it ended because

Resolved Question:

I am seeing someone who has been in my past but it ended because of my foolishness. He is in a new relationship of which he sys he is very happy. He also says he has feelings for me and what we had and what we have now is very special. It is just very bad timing again. Should I give up or hang on. I am I being a fool I do have very strong feelings for him and I do genuially think he cares for me. I asked why he was with me if he was so happy with his new lady and he is like me cant let go. Worse I have an on off relationship with someone who my children adore. My daughter has found out and will no longer speak to me.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 2 years ago.
Are you both excited and too anxious, with so many feelings moving through at once? This situation doesn't sound very stable, since it's likely that more people will find out and get hurt or threatened. Neither of you wants to take a chance on letting go of your "new love" to get back with your "old love." But being on the brink of losing each other makes the fantasy of reunion so sweet--by contrast to the pain of loss. How long were you involved with your "old love?" And when did you get your "new love" involved? I don't know enough to give advice until I know more, because history plays a very big role. Have you ever found yourself connecting with two loves before?
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Customer: replied 2 years ago.

We were involved for a year 4 yrs back. He has been with his new love for about a year. He says he will not leave her as they have a great rapport. I dont understand why if it is so great he is still seeing me . As I said he will txt unexpectably sometimes just to say hello. Its justcas if both cant let go. I asked if it was me

and he said it was just bad timing.

I have accepted the situation as we make each other feel special. I think that is why I went to him as I dont get that feeling with my present partner who is the best bloke ever. But cant satisfy my needs emotionally or physically there is no passion as there is much with old flame.

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