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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3392
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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I've just graduated from university and last six or

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I've just graduated from university and for the last six or seven weeks of term, me and a close friend in the year below me have been seeing each other. Now we've broken up from university, and it seems like our relationship potential could be over before it's even begun, as I have to move on with my life back home away from her. I've been away from her for three days and already miss her so much - she's literally all I think about.
The problem is that she's very conflicted as to whether to try a long distance relationship, as she's not long got out of one, and she is currently of the mind-set that all long distance relationships end in failure and that they simply aren't worth the distress they cause. She knows I'm in a position where I really want to make a go of this, but cannot seem to convince herself that it would work.
We've said that for the next few weeks, we'll just see how we feel and see what happens. But if I can't see her then there's no way our relationship can grow, and so it seems impossible that she could come round to the view point that long distance is worth it.
I know she has feelings for me (although she isn't the type to say so, or to initiate conversation, which for an over-analyser like me is also torture) but she admits herself that she isn't in the perfect place for me right now, and I struggle to think how our situation could be improved. I want to show her how much I care for her and how much I think long distance would work between us but am conscious of scaring her away and not giving her enough space to clear her head and decide things for herself.
My mind is a scramble and I can't concentrate on anything - please help! How can I best hope for a happy ending for us?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 2 years ago.
I think you are doing great by having such great insight. The more you push the less likely you will achieve what you desire. I would let her know once again your desire and that is to see each other and talk about how it all feels as you go along and keep the communication open. If you are talking about it all then things may not go awry....so I would tell her this and then let her know that it is her choice and you will follow her lead. If she chooses to opt out of trying, then give her the space and she just might realize how unbearable it is...more unbearable than being together and missing one another.
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