How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question

TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2922
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
64783947
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
TherapistJen is online now

I've just graduated from university and last six or

Resolved Question:

I've just graduated from university and for the last six or seven weeks of term, me and a close friend in the year below me have been seeing each other. Now we've broken up from university, and it seems like our relationship potential could be over before it's even begun, as I have to move on with my life back home away from her. I've been away from her for three days and already miss her so much - she's literally all I think about.
The problem is that she's very conflicted as to whether to try a long distance relationship, as she's not long got out of one, and she is currently of the mind-set that all long distance relationships end in failure and that they simply aren't worth the distress they cause. She knows I'm in a position where I really want to make a go of this, but cannot seem to convince herself that it would work.
We've said that for the next few weeks, we'll just see how we feel and see what happens. But if I can't see her then there's no way our relationship can grow, and so it seems impossible that she could come round to the view point that long distance is worth it.
I know she has feelings for me (although she isn't the type to say so, or to initiate conversation, which for an over-analyser like me is also torture) but she admits herself that she isn't in the perfect place for me right now, and I struggle to think how our situation could be improved. I want to show her how much I care for her and how much I think long distance would work between us but am conscious of scaring her away and not giving her enough space to clear her head and decide things for herself.
My mind is a scramble and I can't concentrate on anything - please help! How can I best hope for a happy ending for us?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.
I think you are doing great by having such great insight. The more you push the less likely you will achieve what you desire. I would let her know once again your desire and that is to see each other and talk about how it all feels as you go along and keep the communication open. If you are talking about it all then things may not go awry....so I would tell her this and then let her know that it is her choice and you will follow her lead. If she chooses to opt out of trying, then give her the space and she just might realize how unbearable it is...more unbearable than being together and missing one another.
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2922
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
TherapistJen and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C.
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C.
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP
  • I Couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C.
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • TherapistMaryAnn

    TherapistMaryAnn

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    715
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Previous | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg TherapistMaryAnn's Avatar

    TherapistMaryAnn

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    715
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    389
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    270
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/NP/nphbrown/2012-7-30_24048_ImYrManSerious1.64x64.jpg Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    209
    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/Dietcokeani/2009-08-16_115515_Annette_face_square.jpg Anna's Avatar

    Anna

    Social Worker

    Satisfied Customers:

    203
    29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/drshs/2011-5-8_214848_CIMG1275.64x64.jpg Dr. Shirley Schaye's Avatar

    Dr. Shirley Schaye

    Doctor

    Satisfied Customers:

    166
    PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions