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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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HiI am getting married in November this year. I am very

Customer Question

Hi I am getting married in November this year. I am very happy with my fiance but i keep having these paranoid thoughts. I noticed on his facebook this girl keeps liking all his photos comments on certain things he posts etc. I questioned him about and he very openly told me this is his colleague and she used to like him but he did not like her and he is not very close to her. After this I was or rather am still acting paranoid over this issue. I had argued with him that I do not trust her intentions. He fully agreed and said he knows she liked or likes him he actually deleted his facebook as he said he felt it was ruining our relationship. I have argued and stressed him out a lot over this and I don't know why? He has been very honest with me and I just seem to be upsetting myself and my fiance. I don't know if I am having paranoia issue? Thanks

Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 2 years ago.
Hello. I'm sorry you feel this way. He has been honest with you and that's a great thing ! You need to find a way to feel better about yourself and the upcoming wedding and focus on all of those things. A confident, secure person something which can be difficult for some to achieve and easier for others. You should talk with him and explain to him how you don't like feeling this way, not sure why you do and that you trust him fully and love him, but can't shake these feelings. If there are things you think he can do for you or with you which might make you feel better or more secure, decide what those things are and ask him if he will "humor" you for while and help you through it. You aren't having a "paranoia" issue so much as a confidence issue. Everyone has different things which make them feel more secure than others. Find what those things might be for you. Think of all the positive things you have going on right now. You are going to be getting married soon and start a new life together. You are happy with him, so concentrate on those things which make you happy. You cannot control this girl and her intentions. You cannot control him and his actions. All you can do is control you and your reactions. As soon as you let those negative things go, you will start to feel better. He hasn't done anything to make you feel like HE is the one causing the issues, so keep knowing you are on the same team together. Be proud you have a nice, good looking guy who others also find attractive. He chose you. Try to focus on those things first and foremost.