How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question

TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2804
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
64783947
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
TherapistJen is online now

I been in relationship with a girl years we broke

Customer Question

Hi. I been in relationship with a girl for 3 years we broke up but still remained friends. With benefits I then moved back from the states we see each other every 6 months or so. We're still close. I was planning to go see her and go on a road trip then she said we could cut costs by having her friend come along. She then said for me not to expect anything to happen. Then I said I wasn't going because I'm going to spend 1500 euro on a trip to hang out with her friends and that it's not worth me investing the time and effort on a relationship that is going nowhere She said she was hurt because once she took sex out of the equation I lost interest. I'm 35 and she's 24 I don't want to pressure her into marriage but I feel lik it's to hard to be her friend and watch her date other guys Am I being shallow? My plan (which I proposed to her) was that I will move back to the states when we are both done with college. She was indifferent in her response and said she doesn't want a long distance thing. We talk everyday on skype and she is my best friend. I don't know what to do.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.
You don't sound shallow. You sound like you care and love her deeply and desire more. She has been clear about not wanting anything long distance so it may have to be that you keep this friendship going until such a time when you can both be in the same pace and develop the type of relationship you desire. I would let her know you are there with her and for her and it is not just about sex for you and you will do what it takes to remain in each others lives. There is no way to predict how things will end up, but keep being loving and supportive.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks Jen. She had been in a relationship with another guy since. It's very hard for me to see this. Would it not(as most of my friends say) easier to just cut all commnications and move on. I feel like it would be aweful at first but I would get over it
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.
Only you can decide that for yourself. If she is with someone else and you feel like it is torture to continue just as friends, then it may be the only option for you right now. Yes, it will be hard at first, but you will get strong again. Give yourself the time to figure it out and mourn the loss if you decide to end the communication. It sounds very painful for you to be in the wings so to speak.
If you decide to move on, then allow yourself to feel what you feel and then things will get easier and you will live again!
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.
If all good for now, please take a moment to click on the rating tab to rate my support. Thanks so much in advance.

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP
< Previous | Next >
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP
  • I Couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C.
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C.
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • TherapistMaryAnn

    TherapistMaryAnn

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    715
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg TherapistMaryAnn's Avatar

    TherapistMaryAnn

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    715
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    389
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    270
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/NP/nphbrown/2012-7-30_24048_ImYrManSerious1.64x64.jpg Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    209
    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/Dietcokeani/2009-08-16_115515_Annette_face_square.jpg Anna's Avatar

    Anna

    Social Worker

    Satisfied Customers:

    203
    29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/drshs/2011-5-8_214848_CIMG1275.64x64.jpg Dr. Shirley Schaye's Avatar

    Dr. Shirley Schaye

    Doctor

    Satisfied Customers:

    166
    PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions