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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3491
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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I have a boyfriend of 2 months who is very affectionate n tells

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I have a boyfriend of 2 months who is very affectionate n tells me he loves me and wants a future with me . Says he's never felt this strong . He's 51 , 2 previous marriages , one was young n naive n maybe she cheated he's not sure? Other ended 7 yrs ago after 10 yrs they just grew apart on good terns n divorced . All seemed so honest n genuine till other nite I saw him txtin on fb n he closed his phone soon as I came in room , I saw him typing seems you work in petrol station? No kisses or more , but were txts before that I could see n he denied it then had to fess up n admit lady thru mutual friend request him n he knew I wouldn't be happy him txtin so he panicked . I ask to see txt n he said he deleted them which aroused my suspicions again , why ? What he hiding ? Ibssl to see this woman n he did pull up her fb profile , said that was all he done reply to her txt n try assure me admitted big mistake in covering up n lying n I told him yes he lucky i feel so much coz he knows I been treated badly n I would have walked otherwise coz trust is so important to me above love ! He's now come of fb to assure me that it won't happen again n me being happy n trusting means more to him . He's always seeing me every spare minute and makes me feel secure n happy , but why would a man so in love txt a random stranger on fb with his girlfriend in other room n be secretive after , delete , if he did ? Then deny . Is it a one off do u feel ? He had many friends on there past n present which I get , but why a woman he not know , why bother? I wouldn't . I'm
Hurting still coz of his actions n trying very hard to trust n believe n move on . Such a shame coz I was so relaxed n trusted him not to behave that way and lie about it .
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.
It's hard to know if it is a one time thing...If he is feeling like he wants that extra attention then he might seek it again. There is no guarantee that it won't happen again. Why a random stranger? Because it may be easier and safer for him to flirt with an unknown and get his self esteem filled that way. His attention to you now is good, but if that fades even a bit and most likely it will return to normal then you will be left wondering. You have a choice here. Let things be and try and trust or leave the relationship. I hear that staying is what you want so try as best you can to let this situation be a part of the past and reconnect to him with love and trust. It may take some time, but you can do it.
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