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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3393
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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I was wondering the least painful and difficult way of

Resolved Question:

I was wondering the least painful and difficult way of asking ones partner for a divorce?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.
Hi. Most likely there will be pain around this conversation...on both sides. The best way is to talk calmly and lovingly while expressing your genuine feelings. Keep in mind that there might be hurt and pain so speak lovingly and with empathy. Try to leave any blame out of it so that the news can be heard without having to become defensive. Keep the love that you once shared in your heart and things can go easier. If the divorce is not wanted by your partner, then there will be a lot of feelings...let them know you are there to hear it all and process it all.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Jen,Thanks for replying so promply. Its an unfortunate situation and I am totally with you that the "Blame Game" get no one anywhere, I just feel that my wife and I have very different view of how to treat family and I am very disappointed about her negative response to a situation regarding a family situation. This has really shocked me and whilst only being the straw that broke the camels back am sure I will be asked why I would like a divorce, how do I put my feelings across to her without it feeling like I am blaming her?Secondly Once the "conversation" has been had, as we have no children if I am in the fortunate position to have another property to move into immediately would it be better to move out straight away giving us both space to breath rather than living in a house together that will be tense and unpleasant?
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.
If you feel the love and connection has shifted for you then I would let her know that so that it is not related to just one situation or a string of situations. Stay with your feelings and how they have changed. Most often when couples decide to split, the move out happens pretty quickly. If she is shocked and angry she may desire you to leave immediately. If she needs some support then offer to stay so that you can both feel okay and move through this space amicably and with love and care. Remember as you go through this, you may have feelings of loss around it all too, even if you are the one that desires it. Let those feelings come up and feel all that you feel.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.
Let me know how else I can support you. If all good for now, please click on the rating tab to rate my support. Thanks so much in advance.
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