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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3396
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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My husband overreacts to being hurt by our children or me.

Resolved Question:

My husband overreacts to being hurt by our children or me. If one of the children accidentally hits him he gets very angry and upset, and holds on to his feelings for hours. It seems completely ridiculous, but it is causing some big rows. I'm not sure I want to put up with it any longer, it I don't want to just give up on our relationship. It is driving me crazy.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.
Hi Liz. It sounds like he may be dealing with some issues from his past that are being played out here with you and the kids. Seems like there is some unresolved anger. Reasoning hasn't been effective because it sounds like he doesn't see an issue with his behavior. Given that, I imagine that getting him to see a counselor would be out of the question? If that is the case and it seems like he won't be making any changes, it comes down to what you want for yourself and your children moving forward. I would sit with him in a quiet moment, away from the tense moment and let him know you are concerned for him and the relationship between you and with the kids. You desire for him to be happy and want to do what you can to help him. This is less about reasoning with him and more about extending your care and concern. If he refuses over and over again to hear how you feel then you will figure out what you want. Remember in your conversation not to criticize him but rather let him know you are concerned about his happiness. If he feels attacked or blamed in any way, he will not be able to hear you.
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