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I am so sorry to hear of this pain for you...it is excruciating. You are a lovely person and have loved him so much and that is why you supported him...that you can be happy with and proud of yourself. His bad behavior does not change any of that...that is all on him. If he has deep troubles then that is why he behaves in the cruel manner he has....that does not make it any easier for you, but you can rest assured knowing how wonderful your behavior has been. I do hope that now you protect yourself and don't take him back when he reaches out again, because most likely he will.
The only thing for you to do right now is to mourn this loss, feel what you feel and each day will get a bit easier.In the future when you see these red flags you will be able to spot it sooner and care for yourself more rather than the other person only.
He has never given much care toward you so breaking up with you over and over again in the way he has, fits with whom he has been. This pain for you will lessen over time...Keep that loving heart of yours but not to the detriment of your self-care.
Nothing is showing. Can you see it?
You are not pathetic. You are a caring and loving person. I don't know if these are more lies, but I do think that he needs to heal on his own and you on yours....Don't question whether you are pathetic...it is loving and caring of you, but now it may be time to care for you more.
If he isn't lying, then you will see that at some point that he has gotten help but for now, he has pushed you away so much that you need to care for you and let him do his work if he decides to do so.
If he has deep problems then that is why he may be so cruel. He isn't able to think of you, only himself and that is why it is easy for him to be cruel. Very hard and sad for you, but you can get through this..give yourself time to heal.
I, of course have seen this push, pull behavior and it is very destructive. It keeps you available for HIS needs but has no care and thought for you. When he needs to feel better about himself he reaches out and then poof he is gone. So, time for YOU. I know how much pain you are in and want a better understanding from him, but I don't think he is capable of giving you that level of connection or honesty.
And now you get to take that power back and love yourself and leave him behind. You are only destroyed if you allow that. get strong, get tough and get out there and enjoy life with someone who is capable of giving it back to you. You deserve it...you are kind and loving.
I wish you the best and lots of strength. Please take a moment to click in the rating tab to rate my support. I am always here for you in the future if you need me.