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JohnMichaels,MS,LPC, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 574
Experience:  25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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I need someone to help me to understand why this man does

Customer Question

I need someone to help me to understand why this man does like me lot and falling for me... But then he doesn't know what he want.. Other hand that his ex he have with his little child.. He want to see, she seem to mess him around lot.. I really like him, we never went out together to do things. I met him online dating.. He doesn't want relationship or anymore children. we do have had sex sometimes.. He doesn't want to mess me around or used me.. It seem like he does... I feel so down and frustrated.. I been back and forth to him, being there for him. He have a son that live with him full time.. He finding a job which is put him down.. I don't know what to do. I like him 100% but his Lack of communication with me not good. How do I know if he like me lot and care for me when he doesn't show his efforts.. He doesn't like texting.. Funny that he text his family and ex. Not me.. I don't want him to take advantage of me or take me for granted.. It not on.. I still wanted to be with him.. I can't force him to be mine.. It hard for me as being single for 15 years, I do work and go to gym, I hardly ever go out due to my financially problem. I am that close to be pregnant, as to have levonelle today. He worries sick.. that happen twice.. I'm not on the pill, he didn't have condom.. Why he would say.. Can I come in you.. Telling me he want me.. He not sticking how he want to be with me or not..
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for reaching out to just answer. I really do count it an honor and huge responsibility to try to help you find resolution to your situation.

I am so sorry you are in this situation. You say that you have been single for fifteen years and really want to make this work. Please understand you are there and see the situation first hand and I am on the outside looking in. My first impression is he is using you. If he cared for you he would communicate with you and let you know how much he cares.

You are correct in not trying to force him into a relationship. That relationship would not be good. If you still aren't sure you want to give him up, there is nothing wrong with an ultimatum though. Just tell I'm you want more from him. You would like to talk to him more often and for him to treat you with more respect.

My personal opinion is though, you are better of without him. You are evidently healthy and pretty. You have much to offer. You are too good to set around waiting on his bidding.

Does that make sense? I know that is a bit harsh, but from what I am seeing, it is the truth. I hope it all works out. Let me know if there is anything else I can do to help.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
OK.. I am finding it so hard without him. I am deaf and he isn't. I'm very attractive looking girl. I been through lot before I met him.. It hard to deal with any situation. It seem like he doesn't care.. he said he does.. He isn't.. how I suppose to know if he does. He text me. I don't know what to do. Part of me want him more than anything.. I just can't cope and I didn't want to go back to square one.. I really wanted a relationship. He confused.. Between me and his ex.. I was waiting to hear from him.. To talk to me more.. Next time he text me.. I'm going to tell him face to face.. If you care for me then talk more with some respect.. If you don't then I can't be there for you. I want relationship that give me love and affection. I don't want to be used or anything. . Just to be honest with you. He knows how I feel.. it makes me more upset and hurt..
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 1 year ago.

I'm sorry you are being treated this way. It sounds like you have a good plan. The question you must answer yourself is how long you are willing to wait on him. I hope the best for you.

JohnMichaels,MS,LPC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Jus to let you know thing are not working out between us. daryl been texting someone else who actually met before he asked me over.. He did ask her as well on the Tuesday night.. He was extremely fed up, annoyed about his ex situated.. I came over and cheer him up.. When I look through his phone next Morning while he sleeping.. I was shocked to see how he text her.. Her name is ***** ***** the contact. He never put my name in it, just a number.. Why?? I confronted him about this.. I felt he really like me but he text her more than he is with me. How could he do this to me.. I did apologies to look through the phone.. I Was curious to see how his ex texting.. Then I noticed stephanie.. He met her on dating sites. He told me he never on dating.. He lied to me.. Why? I asked him if I done anything wrong.. he really mess and confused.. When left.. I was so broken.. I left him alone.. I did asked to talk properly to clean the air... He said leave it for now, need space.. I'm not going to contact again if.he text.. I'm not going to be part time or back up plan.. Today I feel isn't great.. I did meet someone I know for years.. Having to having fling.. I feel connection disappeared with Mark.. Because I'm used to daryl more often.. I don't see mark only when he feel like it.. Now I'm meeting new guy this weekend, see what outcome is.. I hope he could be nice and respect person for me.. Better than other two.. I don't want to tell my problem with new guy.. He may run from me.. I don't want to think what going on my mind.. I'm just feeling broken.
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 1 year ago.

The problem with daryl is he is a cheat and a user. It is not you and there is no other answer than him being a jerk. My advice to you is to slow down. Take a break from guys all together. Prove to your self you don't need a boyfriend. Give it time and see if the right guy comes looking for you. No offence, but I believe providence is a better match maker than you are. At least give it a try. Does that make sense?

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