Your intense reaction is because of your feelings about drugs and that is okay...you are allowed to feel that strongly about it. I think you are unable to let it go for now is because it took you by surprise and probably could not have imagined she would have done that. I would sit with her when you feel calm and ask her about her drug use and it is less about apologizing and more about what her feelings are around using drugs and if she believes she will use again. If she dabbles in it once in a while and that does not work for you then be open with her about what you want and need in a relationship. I think once a calm and clear conversation happens, slowly the thoughts swirling in your head will lessen.
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If this conversation has happened more than once then she might have an issue and you might be at odds with your desires around this. If it keeps happening then evaluate for yourself if this will work for you.
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I am glad I have helped. Be as strong as you can and when you feel up to it let her know how you feel. Your needs are important too.
I think it will be easier to put it behind once you feel strong enough to speak your feelings and not having it turn into a fight. Hard to let something go easily when you feel strongly about it and rightly so. You are a loving and honest man...rely on that.
Not sure how this all got turned around to be an issue of yours.....easier for her to blame you then look at her behavior?
You worry when you care and all of us find happiness through our relationships as well as individually.
Yes you may be on different tracks and desires in life, so look inward and decide if this is the right one for you.
I think because you love and value her so much the fear of loss is great...this is actually normal...the key is to figure out how to manage those feelings so they don't cause undue stress and pressure. Sometimes just verbalizing how strongly you feel and it can cause some worry and anxiety can be helpful. Talk to her, be open about your feelings and then live you life freely and with happiness.
FYI. I am off for several hours as I am in with private clients.