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Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question
TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3397
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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I wonder if you are able to shed any light on my dilemma. I

Customer Question

I wonder if you are able to shed any light on my dilemma.
I met a guy 2 years ago he said he was not in a relationship. He finished with her then he said he let her back into his life to run his company ie. his home. Then behind my back he married her and said it was a mistake. Yhey then split up and he has been in constant contact with her for the last 1 year where ever we have been in the worls. He texts her he loves her and I confront him and he says she is just a friend. He visits her in her home behind my back
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call. Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I am not able to provide a phone call, but would be happy to continue with you here. Please let me know if that works for you.

Jen

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Yeah thsts fine via this
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Ok...I am sorry to hear of this...he has not been truthful since you met him and has strung you along the whole time. I do not see this behavior changing at all. He wants things when he wants them and expects you to be okay with it all and his deceit. I think you deserve more than this and deserve to be with a man whom is truthful and only wants you.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I am happy to continue with this
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

let me know if you saw my response above?

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I know you want to stay with this man and desire to believe him, but it is highly unlikely that he will all of a sudden become an honest man whether it has to do with her or someone else. Let me know your thoughts.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I get your point. It's all so strange and I'm emotionally drainec
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

It is absolutely draining and not respectful of you so it comes down to whether you want to hang around knowing he will behave as he has or heal and move forward.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

something tells me there is another loving man out there that will treat you with respect and desire to be with you and only you!

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He never let's me leave. Giving me emotional blackmail and it's hard as 2 years I've invested in him . He isn't going to be truthful to either of us as he can't
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Yes because he still needs you to be there in whatever way he desires and how he wants it. It will come down to whether you want to stay in this dynamic or if you feel strong enough to set the boundary and stick with it no matter what he does. Only you can decide that for yourself and proceed when you are ready.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Let me know how else I can support you. If all good for now please take a moment to click on the rating tab to rate my support. Thanks so much in advance. Please be well and care for yourself!

Jen

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I appreciate your help
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I guess no relationship should be this hard. His lying to us both
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

if there is lying in a relationship it isn't a relationship. It is a one sided experience. I am here again if you need me. My pleasure to support you. Please take a moment to click the rating tab for me so that I am credited for my time and I am here if yu need me again in the future. Thanks.

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