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JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 794
Experience:  25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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I'm in a very difficult situation. I met someone at the

Customer Question

Hello, I'm in a very difficult situation. I met someone at the beginning of the year who is perfect in every way and we decided very quickly that we would get married. We're getting married in August. But since then, I found out that hes been in touch with his ex girlfriend since they split 6 years ago. He doesn't email her but she emails him and he always replies. She met someone quite soon after they broke up and got pregnant. She now has two children with this man and is married to him, but she still keeps emailing my boyfriend. I know it's wrong, but he had some photos of them on his computer, and that led me to check his email as the photos hurt me so much. The emails from her were saying how she couldn't block her thoughts about him, that she still daydreams about their time together and that her parents sometimes call her husband by my boyfriend's name. Also that he'll already have a special place in her heart. She also sent pictures of her children saying how one of them reminds her of my boyfriend. And sent him a picture of my boyfriend when they were together on his birthday. They also met up a few years ago and he met her kids. In the beginning messages he said things like, I met someone but we didn't have the same spark as us, and "I've been looking through photos of us"
It's all so strange and so much for me to take in I can hardly cope. He tells me he loves me more than he ever loved her and that he's never been so sure of anything when he asked me to marry him, and that he's well and truly over her now. But I can't stop thinking about it, why did he encourage her by emailing her back - the latter messages were just chit chatty but he shouldn't have been messaging her at all when he knew she was married with children and had feelings for him. I thought he was a good person but that makes me rethink it.
He has said the next time she emails he'll tell her to stop as he's getting married but I'm worried she won't. Also he has taken all those photos off his computer.
Please help. I don't know if I can go into this marriage feeling like this.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The person he said he didn't have a spark with was an earlier girlfriend - not me
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call. Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I'm happy to have a phone call or email reply
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 1 year ago.

Hello! It does sound like a difficult situation. I have help several individuals through similar situations. I hope I can help you. I am having difficulty setting the call up but will keep trying. In the meantime, any more details you can offer might be helpful.

JohnMichaels,MS,LPC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I speak at the moment. Are you free any other time today?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I'm in the UK is that ok? Will 9pm my time be ok? That will be 4pm your time I'm guessing? Thank you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok speak to you then!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hello I'm free when you are, iona
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I'm free when you Are. Iona
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 1 year ago.

Ok, this time difference is just not working. I am going to recommend you are reimbursed your money at least for the call. Here is my take though. I am not convinced you need to call everything off over this. I am absolutely convinced you need to delay everything though. There is no way you need to step into marriage with this looming over your head. I would say you need to let him know you mean business. Tell him the wedding is off. You will consider setting a new date when you are convinced he has ended it with his ex. There is a good possibility you will lose him over this, but at least you will know. Does that make sense?

Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 1 year ago.

Ok, this time difference is just not working. I am going to recommend you are reimbursed your money at least for the call. Here is my take though. I am not convinced you need to call everything off over this. I am absolutely convinced you need to delay everything though. There is no way you need to step into marriage with this looming over your head. I would say you need to let him know you mean business. Tell him the wedding is off. You will consider setting a new date when you are convinced he has ended it with his ex. There is a good possibility you will lose him over this, but at least you will know. Does that make sense?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you. We've decided to do that. Thanks so much for your help.