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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3396
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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I am an 19 year old lad who has being with s girlfriend

Customer Question

Hi I am an 19 year old lad who has being with his girlfriend for 2 years and is very very happy however 7 months ago at Christmas I was very drunk and a girl kissed me what do I do , it would crush my girlfriend and she would never believe me that I never had any bad intentions and I pushed her away
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

So why now do you desire to tell her what happened?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I am unsure I feel like I love her so much and when I am with her I can not honestly think I ever think about it however I am really unsure why I want to tell her because I need some body really to tell me that it's okay I think and I am not a horrible person for not telling her
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

If your relationship is strong and there is trust between you the I would hope she would believe what you say. Either choice you make here...tell her or don't tell her, you run the risk of her being upset either by finding out from someone else or by you. But to me it sounds like you can't rest until you tell her.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I don't think it makes you a horrible person...it just comes down to what you can live with and if you can handle not telling her and just putting it behind you.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Either way, you are not a horrible person.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
But I don't think that it is that big of a deal or problem due to it being nothing so I don't want to put a stop in the way of the relationship from it and I honestly feel it because it meant nothing yet it still happend
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
How do I come about putting it behind me like what train of thought should I look towards
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Then you are clear and you can rest knowing you have made the choice that feels right for you.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
What do you mean by clear ?
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

You pushed this woman away and did not seek this out so it sounds to me like you acted within appropriate boundaries.

By clear....I mean that you have arrived at your decision and it feels like the right one for you.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Out sorry and thank you , I left and came home after she kissed she wanted me to go back to her house
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I hear a young man that did the right thing.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
How do I become clear of the thought though like I can picture it now and I try to accept it but still see it in a bad way of something I did as it is wrong ?
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I think in time it will lessen. Each time the thought comes up just remind yourself that you handled it well by not kissing her, pushing her away and not going to her home.

TherapistJen and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Okay thank you I never went in and I did go home so I did wrong by kissing her but more of right by pushing her off and going home
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Yes..all of that is correct. Go rest your mind and remind yourself when it comes up you love your girlfriend and you are looking and moving forward.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you I know it seems stupid due to me being young and things but it has just being bothering me and I didn't really know why
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I don't hear anything that sounds stupid. I hear a nice young man desiring to feel better about something. Be well and keep loving her and yourself. Thank you for the positive rating you gave.

Jen

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for helping me and I'm sorry about the tip situation I'm a trainee electrical appreciate haha so money is really bad so I'm sorry but appreciate you helping i do still feel bad when I think of it but I do love her and am moving forward with her , also thank you for taking time to care as its not that mug or a serious issue to some I bet you get asked and you took it as serious
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

First and foremost...please do not apologize about a tip. I do this work because I love it. I take your feelings seriously and believe you deserve support around them. No worries at all. Be a happy man and get out there and enjoy your life. Wishing you the best always.

Jen

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No I understand and I do appreciate it that's all thank you
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

My pleasure.

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