Thanks for being so open and I am sorry to hear of this pain around this. As an outsider, it seems that this relationship may have run its course. Although he, in some ways, has felt like a warm blanket, it has not been enough in all areas and does not seem like it could be enough moving forward. I think there are great differences between the two of you and how you handle life, relationships, work and many things. Sometimes we can look back fondly ***** ***** time spent, but it may not be meant for longevity. I think that your relationship with your daughter is a strong one and he may not understand the nature of it as you have seen in small ways. So, looking in, I can see the sweetness for while it lasted, but I may not see that it is meant for long term.
Let me know your thoughts.
I haven't heard much in the way of similarities or in shared experiences and I don't write with any certainty...life isn't like that and no relationship is either. I am suggesting that not every relationship is meant for longevity and you may ask yourself why you want to hold onto something that may have seen it's best days....stomach churning over the ways he handles things seems to be a common theme for you. But, if you feel that even with these differences you believe you can find your way back and make it work, then that course is what you should follow. Only you can answer that. But one of your questions was should you walk away quietly and I was responding in that vain that it may not be meant for longevity based on what you have shared, but that doesn't detract from what you have shared. But again if the pull feels strong to try again with him, then why not?
Since the two of you are talking, I might also suggest that you talk openly about what you feel and desire and see if you are on the same page and if you both have the desire to work on things, then there is no harm in trying...at least then you will know what you both want and you can see if it can work this time. Be open with him about your wants, your fears, your vulnerabilities..all of it and maybe you can carve a new path together.
Checking back to see how things are going.