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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3609
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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I've been with my girlfriend years she said she fell out of

Resolved Question:

I've been with my girlfriend for 7 years she said she fell out of love with me, she said she loves me and wants to make it work but dosent see me changing as my tempa always causes arguments I was always sad and depressed I went bankrupt in 2010 and lost my house and ever since then I've never been happy and has played havoc with my relationship, she says she loves me and cares about me so much she wants me to be the man I was when she first met me but she says she she's not sure if her feelings will come back, she wants them back is it possible for her to fall back in love with me if I became a happy more loving person
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
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Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I think she is giving you a chance by meeting you. It is clear you both love each other and she may not want to be without you but unless you get a handle on how you are feeling about things and your reactions to it all, I don't see her being able to stay. I would get into some counseling for yourself so that you can deal with the incredible stress you have been under for the last few years with your bankruptcy and losing your house. You life, your love and your health are worth more than any home. It is quite possible that you can work this out and be together, but first you must show her you are working on your self and your temper so she can feel safe to be with you. If she reaches out to you to see you as she just did and you lose your temper you are showing her she made the right decision for herself. So show her the man she fell in love with and get yourself some support and work on yourself. You can do it. You deserve to be happy.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Just what I wanted to hear, but the thing that confuses me is the confusion she is in she doesn't know if she wants to be with me, she says I've pushed her away to much with my actions, can I push her back and can she fall in love with me
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

If she is still asking to see you then it seems like the feelings are there...maybe buried a bit from fear and protection of the hurt feelings, but they may be uncovered again if you are able to make changes and show her with your actions.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I see confusing being a good thing as she could jus say no and not come on dinners with me am I right to think that ??
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

give her time and yourself time as well to make some changes, but you need to do the work and I think you can. That is right...she could just walk away and not be in contact so if she is confused there may be hope there but now the work has to come from you.

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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Brilliant, in this case confusion is a good thing
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Be well and go make some changes and show her you can do it. Thanks for the positive rating. Have a great rest of the day.