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It is such a great question because it is such a common experience and often happens when the strong feelings are there and the stakes feel high. I like the idea of being up front and communicative about it. So if you feel like you are connecting with someone you can be playful and silly about it and let them know you are feeling all good things and it can cause some insecurity. The right person will support that and provide reassurance. If they can't do that for you then that gives you some insight into how they might handle your normal feelings in the future. If you have been hurt in the past, these feelings may arise and if that is the case, practice a lot of self-talk to remind yourself that this is a different experience and not one from the past that may have caused hurt.
I await your thoughts.
Thanks for giving more information. When you put all your happiness and moods in the hands of another then these feelings can creep up because if they don't call then you feel down. The best way to combat this is to have a full life and feel good about yourself and all you are involved with in addition to your relationships...so yes while you desire to be connected and hear from them, when you don't or there is a delay in the response you are still full and thriving in other things. This, by the way is also appealing to others as they see you as having a rich and full life.
And assigning meaning to the delay of texts doesn't help you either...meaning if you say the delay happens because he can't be bothered with me sets yourself up for feeling poorly. If you can try and think differently without giving a reason then you may do better as well.
Yes and so the question to ask yourself is why do you feel ignored? A delay in a text doesn't have to mena you are being ignored...only if you decide that is why.
You get to choose how you think of the situation so if you choose to feel ignored you will feel down but if you choose to say..I am sure he is busy and we will connect better, then you may not feel as down.
If you have been dating him for a few months like you indicated you can always let him know that when you don't hear back from him, you feel hurt. Maybe he can step it up a bit and give more in this area to you.
You may not be lying to yourself...he may be busy and he may care. You can be less miserable by choosing not define for him what it means when he doesn't respond in the way you want...but again, you may feel better by being open with him and see if he can be more responsive.
I hear you, but I do think if he wasn't interested he would end things completely.
What do you mean?
I would not reach out as much and let him miss you and come to you a bit.
I know it will be hard for you to wait, but maybe you make it easy on him because he knows you will always be texting.
The other person shows an interest in learning about you, spending time with you, finding interest in things you like...
Everyone has different needs about the frequency of communication and your styles right now are dfferent...pull back a bit and let it all happen naturally.
You can do this...have faith in you and all your wonderful qualities.
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I don't think it is about them and how they respond to you...it seems that you are having a tough time recognizing their style and their way...you spoke today yet you said he wasn't thrilled or didn't seem happy. If you continue to define for others how they feel then I think you will be left feeling low. I would try and focus on the good and not what you perceive to be bad. I wonder also if they feel pressure from you to be connected all the time and be a certain way and if so, that could have a person pull back. Please appreciate what is in front of you and what they do give...I think then you might find some joy.
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