Hello I'd like to help you with your question.
From what you said, there are two possibilities as to why your relationships are struggling. One, there is something going on with you that is creating an issue and two, it is the type of men you are attracted to.
From what you wrote, there does not seem to be an issue with anything you are doing. If you are going along fine in the relationship and suddenly your boyfriend has a change of heart, that points to an issue with him. But you may want to take a closer look at your own behavior in your relationships. Everyone who has ever been in a relationship brings their own past with them. For example, if you witnessed abuse in your family as a child, you may be triggered by your past when you get into a relationship by what you went through. And you may not even be aware of it. So to determine if there is an issue with how you react, talk to friends and trusted family members (and if possible, any former boyfriends you are still friends with and feel safe asking). Ask for an honest review of your behavior in relationships. Be prepared to be open and accepting of any answers you get. If you hear a pattern of behavior or see any glaring issues, consider therapy to help you work through them.
However, if there are no issues with your behavior, you may want to look at the types of men you feel attracted to. Again, there could be a reason in your past that is causing you to be attracted to certain behaviors in a relationship. For example, if one or both of your parents were narcissistic, you may feel more comfortable around men who are self centered because that is the behavior you understand and feel most comfortable with. In that case, you may be subjected to men who put their own needs first and simply leave a relationship on a whim, when they feel like it. Therapy can also help here as well, giving you insight into what causes your attraction to certain people and how to address those issues so you avoid relationships where you are hurt.
With this particular relationship, it could also be possible that because it was long distance, it was very hard to maintain. Long distance relationships are more difficult. And it is easier for someone to end the relationship because their day to day lives are not as impacted as with a face to face relationship. That does not mean you did anything to cause this, but because of the long distance relationship, it would be harder to tell if your ex was truly committed or simply did not take the relationship as seriously as his words seem to indicate.
Here are some resources to help you:
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
by Gary Chapman
When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships
by David Richo
The Relationship Handbook
by Dr. George Pransky Ph.D.
I hope this has helped you,
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