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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3520
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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My partner and I have just broken up.. over the fact she

Resolved Question:

My partner and I have just broken up.. over the fact she (34yr old school teacher) has an issue with me having a 14yr old school girl keeping her horses with me because she sthinks the kid is arrogant and cocky
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Who is this teenager to you and why does she keep the horses with you?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
part of my business is keeping horses for other people and look after them... she is just a client
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
but my finances as they are I need the money from her horses
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Ok. Thank you for clarifying that. It sounds to me like there is some jealousy or worry going on for your partner and this client brings that all up. If this is business then whether or not the client is arrogant doesn't really concern her. If you are handling things in a professional way then your partner should trust in that. I would go to your partner/ex and let her know you love and care for her but this is a professional relationship and dealing with other people and their personalities is all part of being a business owner.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

If your partner got rid of every student of hers that was arrogant and cocky, most likely her class would be empty.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have tried to tell her its just business etc.. my partner has been putting huge pressure on me to move into together and frankly I want to but cant afford it.. so I need every client I can at the moment.. but my partner keeps saying "you know I didn't like her (she knew the kid from a a yard before) yet you had her anyway" " you never think of my feelings or give a shit about me".. the only only other option of a client I had was a lady who is my age and recently became single...
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
she is also says we never spend time together... I am wlays working as we have life stock and my its my parents farm ewhere I a absed and she and my mum hate each other because of a stupid row
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I know how hard this is for you and the pain you are in....I hope that with some passage of time she can calm down a bit and realize that her demands are a bit unreasonable and this doesn't have anything to do with her feelings and all to do with surviving and running a business. I don't think trying to convince her now will get you anywhere...she needs some time and time ti miss you and come back.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

She sounds really hard on you...this break may serve you well too. Hard to see that now, but you may just feel a bit less pressure during this break.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Focus on you right now and your work...there will be tough moments of missing her, but again you may just feel more at ease with time.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
she keeps saying its all my fault and I am make her feel like crap and miserable and I never change anything that uspet her and that has had friends or mine messging her telling me that's its not all my fault that I am a f**ked up mes because of my controlling mum and that she could do so much better than me
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
whilst doing this is texting ex boy friends and nearly every day telling me how great they were
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

That's hard to live under that kind of scrutiny from her. Please take this break up as a time for yourself to refresh and renew...it does not sound like the way she treats you is healthy and inspiring for you.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
in the next breath saying she hasn't managed to hold relationship down for more than 3 months in the last 8 years...
we have managed on and off 9 months
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

More red flags...this is not a long relationship between the two of you and certainly not long enough where she weighs in on your business and dictate whom your clients are. Pick up, dust off and begin to move on. Seems like this will be a good thing in the long run.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
the other thing that is worrying me is she has said over the past few days I will make the kids life misery if you don't get rid of her
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Sounds like she says stuff to scare you and manipulate. Time to move on and do what you need to do to put this very short relationship behind you.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
she has had a go at me for not going to a horse show with her .. I didnt because I was working and looking after her horses for her as well!!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
In spite it all.. I must be mad I do love her!!!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
am I totallt insane or done something so wrong??
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
i feel like i am doing something really awful....
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

love may not be enough if the fit isn't right and it just may not be here. not about right and wrong...the fit isn't right. fighting with your mom so early, dictating your business decisions...red flags. Begin the healing.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you.. i just feel like i am so much in the wrong ...she put a FB post up earlier saying how i clearly didn't care about her and that i am selfish and arrogant
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
i am sure i will hear from her again...
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

removing yourself from her social media would be a good way to go. Her behavior is childish and she has manipulated you into thinking you have done all wrong. Be well and begin to heal. This seems best for you.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
the tyhing i got an hour ago.. get
You don't!!!!! Prove it!!!!!! Tell her to f**k off!!!!!!....or move out and leave everything behind!!!!!!
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

you can get your strength back. I believe that to be so. Go find it.

The text only furthers my view this fit isn't right.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
quick back gorund my parents are separated but didn't divorce so the farm wouldn't be split up as i am the only child .. and sarah keeps tlling me oh everyone pities you and you are mess because of your mum and the situation you are in and because of it you wont ever have a normal realtionship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

more of the same. Time to move on and as you move on ask yourself why you would desire to be with someone that puts you down, fights with your family and dictates your business decisions.

TherapistJen and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
thank you... i am just pleased you don't think i am mad
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I think you are a guy that cares and has been hurt. Find your strength again...it is in there. Thank you for the positive rating. Be strong. Good night.