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Your issues of mistrust and insecurity are at work here and I worry that if you don't let go and force yourself to trust then you will push him away which will only reinforce your belief that he or any man can't be trusted. You have chosen to be in this long distance relationship and faith must be given for both of you...for you to be able to live free from this worry and him to be free to have this new job and get used to his new life. He is correct that if he didn't want this, he could easily end it and he hasn't. When you are most worried, practice a lot of self talk and remind yourself that he doesn't need to be in it and that he wants to. The reassurance needs to come from within as he cannot solve these long standing issues of mistrust. At some point just letting go and letting the chips fall where they may is the only way to go. You deserve a good relationship and now is the time for you to do your part and ease up on yourself and him so that can happen.
All of what you say is valid....I think if he feels any pressure then he might pull away as you mention in these instances. I would not chase him and see if he comes to you and desires to see you or be in contact. Then you know what he desires. I know you are not feeling strong, but you can get there. Pull back a bit..not as a game, but to give yourself some space and clarity and to see what his interest is or isn't.
and maybe the answers don't come in words but rather if he asks to see you and visit. So, I would be in contact as you have, not push him to answer because it is all still new, and just go with the flow and let things reveal themselves in their own way and time. Forcing it won't help your goal. You also need to focus on you and your health.
And it may be his way...and that will reveal itself and if that is the case then you will see that clearly in time and make a decision if that works for you. But for right now, let it all play out.
That time comes when you no longer desire to be in a relationship with someone that you feel isn't putting in the effort. If you are nearing that point, then maybe letting your feelings known to him and you making the decisions about what you want either moving forward with him or ending it. It is all your choice.
That sounds like a good plan...let's see how he does around this and then you can decide.
Be strong and focus on getting well in the meantime. Please take a moment to click on the rating tab to rate my support. I thank you in advance.
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