Hello, I'd like to help you with your problem.
Can you tell me more about what caused the break up and how you are feeling about it. Also, what do you want answered about your situation?
Thank you for the explanation.
It sounds like you had a pretty normal relationship until the break up. Arguments here and there are part of a relationship. As long as you both were able to resolve the arguments, then there should be no issue there.
You are aware of two things here-one, you feel insecure and put barriers up in the relationship. That can be an issue depending on how Yvonne deals with the insecurity and if she feels it's a big issue between you. Two, you noted that Yvonne has never been in a relationship that is long term. That may be where the problem lies. If she ends relationships because of fears, then there could be an issue in her past that makes her feel that way. That may seem overwhelming to consider, but it is not an uncommon problem in a relationship.
When you meet with Yvonne tomorrow, talk to her about the possibility of her past interfering in her relationships. You don't have to resolve the issue nor should you try. But ask her if it's possible to try therapy with you or without you. Tell her that you want to be together and to help her with this problem. You can continue to stay apart physically until she decides what she may do about how she feels, but continue having contact and offer support to her until she can resolve what is causing her fears around relationships.
In the meanwhile, you may want to address your own insecurities through therapy and self help. Here are some resources to help both of you:
Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem by Matthew McKay Ph.D. and Patrick Fanning
The Self-Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field by Nathaniel Branden
He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships
by ***** ***** and Julia Sokol
Relationship Anxiety: How To Stop Being Anxious, Worried And Afraid in Intimate Relationships (Stop Being Insecure,…
by Ryan Help
The fact that she still wants to see you and have contact is a good sign. Continue to be supportive but gently encourage her to seek help with how she feels. Until she does deal with the issue, she will continue to have problems in any relationship she is in.
I hope this has helped you,
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While there is no way to tell what she feels or what she will do, if she is repeating to herself that this is for the best, ***** ***** sounds like she hasn't convinced herself of that. Everything you have said points to her not being sure of this decision. If you do meet with her or even talk to her, you may want to bring up why the decision has to be final. There seems to be a problem going on with her that is less to do with your relationship and more to do with something bothering her from her past. Talk to her as you and I discussed and see what you can do to point her to getting help with whatever is bothering her.